Tag Archives: react

Day 315: Daily self forgiveness: using the faults of others to justify my reactions

To those who spend their time looking for the faults in others: Quote About Spend Time Looking Faults Others

Just a quick post for today.

 

Today I had some experiences wherein I was becoming mildly frustrated with ‘the incompetence, bullshit and mischievous ways’ of others – apparently. It is fascinating because as much as I am able to blame others for how I experience myself, they are not ‘making me’ feel anything – everything I experience internally is about no one and nothing but myself.

 

The tricky part is how the mind uses real things in physical reality to justify and further ‘make real’ that which I am experiencing within myself. Sure, perhaps those who I was dealing with were incompetent, bulshitting and being mischevious, but by focusing on this I am overlooking the real point: the issue was over money, and within dealing with a point about money, fears of mine came up – ‘what ifs’ – which are points of self-doubt that the ego uses so cleverly to again ‘make real’ it’s own desires and beliefs. The only reason I experienced any irritation, frustration and therefore blame/judgment towards others, is because of the fears that dealing with money bring up

 

So the point here is to stop all reactions/projections/desires related to money and what the point of money really brings up: fear of loss.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to lose my things and be ‘cheated’ out of having things: money and possessions, and therefore one day find myself ‘without’ and ‘in trouble’ because I have nothing on which to survive – I commit myself to remain here within and as breath when and as this fear arises, as I see, realize and understand that I am only able to do what I am able to do within the necessity to survive and nothing more, and that to ‘over blow’ this point by acting out of fear and thus resorting to mind-tactics to be able to survive such as attacking others or intimidation – I stop, breathe, and do not allow myself to participate in my reactions and fearful projections about what I will do’, and rather remain here as breath until the energy passes and I may continue to support myself in a way that is not out of self interest and self preservation, but in a way that is best for all life and within the consideration/starting point of all life as equal and one

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use other peoples short comings to self righteously justify my own fears and reactions, and self beliefs about how my fears are real and how others are wrong and thus apparently are the reason for why I am reacting – I thus commit myself to, upon reacting to others within situations where I fear losing/loss/being harmed, to stop, and breathe, and not give into my reactions and blame towards others, as I see, realize and understand that this tendency to focus others faults is the ultimate deception that looks and feels ‘so real’ in the eyes of the mind because it may have a grain of truth, yet I am fooling myself my making the association between this and how I experience myself within myself as blame – and thus I do not participate in my reactions/projections onto others as they arise as my thoughts, feelings and emotions

 

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Day 297: Directing myself = directing my reality

https://i2.wp.com/media1.annabrixthomsen.com/2012/06/we-write-to-change-the-world.jpg

I noticed an interesting point today which is that every aspect of our participation in this reality is a form of agreement – it is a stance, a statement, and expression of the principles that we are living and embody. This is the case by virtue of the fact that the human species exist as one organism as a whole, and as part of nature and the eco-system and the universe in the bigger picture. This is also so whenever we are more directly engaged/interacting with others. Most of the time it is not explicit. It is rather an intrinsic part of who we currently are as the decisions we have made as who we decide to be – what matters to us, what our values are, what we deem acceptable and unacceptable. This then resonates from us and is also reflected in our daily living – however we tend to only see the parts of each other that we would like to put on public display and don’t see the whole story. How is trust possible when this is the case?

 

The decision of who we are – what we will accept and allow ourselves to create ourselves and our world as – is critical to all other facets of our existence. What I noticed tonight is the point that everything hinges on this point – all of our interactions with others, how they will go, our participations in what we contribute to our world and thus what the world gives us in return, is all dependent on who we are. We cannot exist as one thing, and expect to experience another. We cannot expect that we will have effective relationships and effective interactions with others if we do not first establish these points with ourselves – and when we do, these relationships and experiences/interactions are essentially fake. Because then we are trying to create something – whatever we believe we want or we believe is ideal – outside of ourselves. It may last a while, but this is not the truth of ourselves and the truth always comes out sooner or later.

 

My experience and relationship with others hinges entirely on who I am. It is foolish to try and change things ‘out there’, in another person, in a relationship, in an experience. Fear is always the point that ‘pulls me in’ to trying to do this – the fear of myself is projected onto other/my situation because I have not established a point within and as myself as self certainty. It is important to first equalize myself within myself, to come to grips with and forgive my fears, before I can ever expect to experience life in the way that I really want to.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try to change my reality outside of myself and from a starting point of separation as a reaction to a thought/fear/feeling/emotion – and that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I must first understand my reactions, stop the through understanding the point as it exist both within myself and another, allowing myself to be able to direct myself and another from a starting point of oneness, equality and understanding

 

I commit myself to – when and as I see a fear exist within me as some for of backchat/voices in the head – write on the point, establish what the point is, give it a name with clarity, and to work on this point so that my living is equal and thus the point will be directed effectively – before allowing myself to act on the point from a starting point of fear as reaction – I stop all temptation to react and breathe, allowing the energy to pass for so that I may deal with the point effectively through writing

 

Day 285: Self support when reacting to another

So today I had a negative reaction to another person in my world, for points that I observed about them that I consider to be not cool and problematic. What is interesting about observation, is that we as humans tend to project ourselves onto that which we are observing. What is even more interesting is that every human being tends to exist the same way in essence, so it can be rather confusing because: here I am in a situation where what I may be observing in another is real: yet if I am reacting to it, my reaction is not real, but rather a projection of myself of how I am actually existing within and as the same point – that is why we tend to react to others by judging and blaming them, rather than having the self directive principle through insight and understanding to be able to assist, support and direct them. So it is always important to take the point back to self, which requires the application of self honesty – identify what it is that self is reacting to, and look for where self may be living out the same points. Once this is done and self is no longer accepting and allowing self to participate in the same points, then it is possible to assist, support and direct another with effectiveness to also stop the same points for themselves. From writing in my journal about today’s experience of reacting to another, I have identified the following points, which pertain to blogs I have been writing recently which have been oriented around the tendency to want to be accepted by others and seen/viewed a particular way where I please others, within a starting point of fear and survival. Here are the points I identified in today’s writing:

Ok, so I have to clarify these points that I am reacting to: the desire to be attractive and be perceived by others as being attractive. The desire to get attention from others and have a nice experience with others. The tendency to use relationship experiences with others as a way of stagnating myself, where my starting point in interaction with others is not specific, direct or self expression, but rather just ‘looking for a good time’, and through creating the experience of ‘just having a good time’, I am drugging myself with distractions and laziness that keeps me from self movement and truly being effective with my time – additional to this, is also the point of not just moving myself because I have to, but developing that point of specificity in moment to moment management wherein each moment accumulates to a point that is practical – I mean, I have things to take care of, sort out, and get done in my time here on earth, and I have to be self honest about assessing whether or not my actions in every moment are conducive to those goals, or not.

Got to get to sleep – will continue this in the next post.

Day 146: Who can I trust? Part 2

Here I am continuing with self forgiveness statements based on the previous blog I wrote.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to trust my reactions to another, not realizing that this reaction is pre-programmed and that this is not trustworthy as I am not seeing the other directly and thus will not be able to direct myself/the other/the situation effectively

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted myself to place trust outside of myself as hope and faith in another that this person will somehow be able to make my life for me as if they are some kind of special angel and through this, project them to be greater than they are in fact- within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to this person when then truth becomes apparent when they are not who I had defined them as in my mind, and that I have allowed myself to trust this reaction and participate within/act on it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to distance myself from others as a point of trying to escape taking responsibility/facing myself, rather than only distancing myself/not participating when I am certain it is not what is best for all as an absolute certainty that nothing beneficial can come of a relationship with them

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to seek every possible way to change/correct/improve myself within a relationship/situation before deciding that it is impossible to remain in this relationship/situation, rather than blaming the other for the dysfunctions and within this, preemptively walking away from the relationship/situation

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to build self trust through stopping my reactions to others, investigating them and myself, and improving/changing myself so that I may lead by example and improve the situation/relationship, rather than blaming another

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself that I can only trust myself and that this is only possible through being honest with myself in stopping self interest and doing unto others what I would have others do unto me – meaning to live a life that is best for all life

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I can only be deceived by another if I deceive myself

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self trust is the only trust that is able to exist, as self honesty