Tag Archives: purpose

Day 323: Specifying my interaction with others, part 1

 

Two points to look at for today, which are related: (1) being direct when it comes to moving myself into doing new things/actions that are not preprogrammed and do not necessarily come ‘naturally’ (reading and learning new things, for example), and (2) specifying my interactions with others.

 

The first point came up today when I noticed that I really had to push myself to ‘just go for it’ and ‘jump into’ my school work. I have a habit of setting myself up to do things like school work in my mind (or generally, tasks that don’t always come easy/naturally as they usually involve acquiring new information/doing new things), where I sort of psyche myself up for doing these things – essentially, it is stalling, because usually I end up not going directly into something and rather find distractions, or when I do get into it, I am very indirect, like I am doing it but I am not really ‘here’ – this is most noticeable with reading. This experience due to the thoughts I have about the task, where I project myself forward as doing the task in my mind, so it becomes more of a mental experience, even when I actually do physically engage in it. The solution here obviously being to identify in the moment when I am having these thoughts about what I must do, rather than simply seeing and recognizing directly what must be done, and the simply doing it.

 

The second point, with regards to specifying my actions with others, is doing so within the context of ensuring that my interactions with others are in fact beneficial to accumulating what is best for all – meaning that they have an outcome/result where I actually become a better person within this context. This point is within the greater point of just not wasting the time I have in my life, as it is an easy thing to do with other people, for myself – people can be exciting lol, and so it can be easy to lose sight of what matters/my goals, and difficult to make sure that I am organizing/managing time effectively. This point also came up as part of a consideration within the relationships point. I have written before about the point of ‘the ideal partner’ about how I have defined this ideal in my mind about what kind of partner would please my mind/ego. So the point of specifying my interactions has become relevant within the deception that is this idea of ‘the ideal partner’, where I notice that I often deceive myself and play games with myself, sometimes wondering if I am ‘with the right person’ or ‘if this other person might be better/there might be someone better’ – and within this, I am diverting attention away from me and who I am within relationships. What really matters is who I am, no matter who I am interacting with as it is only me and ‘who I am’ that is able to ensure that the outcome is that which is best for all, and that the interactions taking place with others are specific and worthwhile, as conducive to this goal. So this applies to all forms of relationships, including friendships and families – it is not so much about ‘who the other person is’ but rather who I am and whether or not I am specific and self directive within interaction with others.

 

These points are related in that the first one relates to my interaction with myself: my internal actions that are taking place within me as my thoughts, feelings and emotions – my relationship with myself – that determine my external actions as my living application. So this word ‘interaction’ is indeed an interesting one as it is generally used in referring to participating with others, as the ‘inter’ refers to ‘who I am’ internally, which determines my living action when I am with others.

 

I will continue in the next blog with self forgiveness and self corrective statements as specific and livable (practical) guidelines for this point.

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Day 317: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

I hereby commit myself to live the following Principles:

1.       Realising and living my utmost potential

2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.       Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.    Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20.    Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.    The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.    The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

Day 254: Determination

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  1. The quality of being determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose

  2. A position, opinion or judgment reached after consideration

  3. Deciding or controlling something’s outcome or nature

  4. The act of making up your mind about something

All of these definitions I have found on the word are useful to be understood, applied and lived. In this process, every moment is a challenge to make the decision to not participate in old habits/patterns. What is an even greater challenge is to create oneself anew through living-in new applications, new habits, new decisions about who I am going to be and what I am going to do. Through making decisions, and fully living them in practical applications with determination, I determine who I will be and what my future/consequences of how I have lived will be. This is something that is crucial to assess about everything that we do and participate in within our lives.

I have made up my mind to do this process, and yet in every moment I am faced with the challenge of determining who I am and what I do and who I will be. There are moments where I feel clouded and lost, because I am still stuck in past patterns of thoughts/living habits, and I find it important to in the moment stop and assess: what am I doing? What are my priorities, according to all that I require to do to live the life I really want to live? What is important? What will I do and how long will I do it for? How long does it make sense to do it for, and in what way does it make sense to do it? 

There are just too many distractions in this world, too many triggers that can lead to this falling into old habits, no matter how benign they seem to be – and before I know it, I have lost time, precious time. To live with determination in my self application is the key to stopping such habits, and really being strict and honest with myself about what I am allowing and how I am living. Is what I am living what I really want to live ideally, as that which is best for all life? I determine that, in every moment.

Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use the tools available like breathing and writing to stop and assess and determine what is necessary to be done, what is priority and how it is to be done – I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to determine specifically what is important and to be prioritized and accomplished, through self honest self assessment and breathing through the resistance of walking a new path of determination

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by entertainment and activities that take my attention away and weaken my resolve and determination, and to use justifications of such actions as being benign or harmless when in fact they are hindering my determination and the future that I am determining for myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my mind as old habits/patterns/desires to determine who I am and what I will do 

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to determine who I am going to be and how I am going to live in absolute specificity as self honesty

I commit myself to determine what I will do, how I will live and who I will be through self honest assessment and the utilization of tools such as breathing, writing or even speaking aloud if necessary

When and as I see myself resisting the opportunity to assess and determine what is priority, what I will do and who I will be – I stop, I breathe, I see that I am sabotaging myself through temptations and self interest as the desire to fall back into old habits/patterns which determine for me a bleak future – and thus I do not participate in such temptations as they arise as my thoughts/feelings/emotions/energy, I commit myself to move through this resistance with determination as self here in breath

I commit myself to live my life and apply myself in process with determination in every moment, as a simple self honest assessment and self movement in the moment to determine what I will do and who I will be, creating self trust within myself as the certainty of the outcome being determined as that which I would like to be, as equal and one

Day 250: Searching for answers in someone else’s eyes

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This journal entry was written with the support of/reference to the structural resonance documents, found on the desteni.org website.

I can see how I have allowed myself to exist as inferior to life as that which I have defined myself as, as consciousness, separate to life. I can see that within this point is the tendency to create relationships and look for validation of self as that which I have defined myself as, as consciousness, through participating in certain relationship experiences that give consciousness energy. I can also see that I have been doing this for a long time, and thus there is a deeply seeded trust in this kind of living, as it was taught to me by my parents and those who went before them. I see how it shapes my tendencies of how I create relationships, and who I am within relationships. I see how it affects the importance I place on relationships, and the degree to which I will conform to others and the ways of the world, and compromise myself, to continue to maintain and participate in these old systems of living. I can see that this is a form of looking for answers from those who are just as lost as myself, looking for answers in the old system that I have placed my trust in, believing that there is ‘something there’, that there is some great answer that will make sense within the context of life as it is currently understood/lived by systems – within this, rejecting my own awareness, my own capability, my own ability to understand as myself, not trusting myself to be able to see and understand and direct myself in clarity as self honest common sense – abdicating myself – and within this, accepting a pre-programmed version of myself by trying to ‘fit into’ some idea/projection/model that I am still trying to fit into. Within all of this, tacitly accepting pre-programmed definitions of what is apparently acceptable and unacceptable, in the eyes of the world systems.

Funnily enough, a lyric from a song today popped into my head, it went “some people spend their lives in search for answers in someone else’s eyes” – and was foolish enough to immediately associate that with other people – not seeing the relevance of the point within myself.

So the point here is to stop the tendency to go looking for answers in others, and to see and identify where I am still participating in/allowing such pre-programmed designs, believing in them, following them, adhering to them, desiring them, giving power to them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to find answers in others or society, as the misplaced trust that others can grant me the answers based on that which they approve of or do not approve of

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to identify behaviors that are rooted in the tendency to trust the old systems, and to deliberately ‘not go there’ and rather find another point where I can apply myself effectively, and do so

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe/trust that others/society can provide answers and help for me where I apparently cannot, and thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own self trust as self honesty as the living expression of supporting myself to find clarity and resolve in common sense

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to replace old systems of living/participations/activities with new activities, namely the study of self and life, to be able to see what is real and direct myself in self honest common sense as clarity as that which is best for all life – no longer allowing myself to be directed/influenced by old systems of deception

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to search for intimacy, understanding and sharing in others where I am not giving intimacy, understanding and sharing to myself

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to embrace myself as alone in my own process as I am both my own worst enemy, and yet I hold the key to my own freedom – and by not embracing myself as alone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that embracing others/the system.old patterns and habits of living, that I am apparently in good company and will be saved

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be saved by others/the system/my mind

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the old systems/trust in others, as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to believe is a kind of safety net as an illusion I have created in my own mind

I commit myself to identify behaviors where I am still being influenced by the belief that I can be saved or that others have the answers, and to deliberately go out of my way when the tendency/desire to participate in such behaviors arises

I commit myself to stop the fear of letting go of old systems/ways of living

I commit myself to deliberately deviate from past patterns and rather act/apply myself in new activities that support me, and to dedicate myself to such activities, realizing/having the awareness that it will be difficult at first and will take some getting used to as it is a new way of living, and moving through the resistance as the fear of letting go of old ways/patterns/habits as that which I believe will help me

I commit myself to be intimate with myself and support myself in self honesty, and to no longer accept and allow the desire to find answers in others/society/beliefs/illusions to sabotage and enslave me

I commit myself to continue to apply myself and ensure that I am effectively walking the process of developing self trust/self honesty, to develop my ability to support myself and my ability to apply myself in working things out for myself

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the trust have placed in the systems/society/others is based on based experiences where I got a certain ‘payoff’ as a positive energetic/mental experience wherein I believed that “this is it, this is the answer”, not realizing that I held onto this feeling/experience resonantly and came to trust in it, associating this with ‘the answer’/the meaning to life, not realizing how this desire for a feeling which I experience resonantly is what is driving me to again trust in society/others/systems and thus want to compromise and conform myself to it, abdicating my own self trust as self honesty

I commit myself to embrace myself here, alone as breath, and to stop the fear as desire that drives me back to trust old systems which I have allowed myself to justify with the belief that I can trust the mind as energy/thoughts/feelings/emotions as my preprogrammed design because apparently it works