Day 325: Standing in the mess-age as the message

Human beings are really only as good as what they know: it is the knowledge that we operate and function on that determines what we will live and the choices we make. In this ‘age of information’, the temptation to live in ignorant bliss is the greatest it has ever been, because we as human beings are given no directive guidelines/principles within which we can direct ourselves with the knowledge and information that we take on and experience as our world/reality.

In fact, the very notion of self-direction is suppressed in virtually every way possible: and we are rather just subject to the information we experience and the world systems that function according to this information, teaching us 1 thing: that we are inferior, that we cannot direct ourselves and our reality, to give up on ourselves and just turn to entertainment and other petty preoccupations, that we can never have any real true freedom or happiness, that we are forever limited to the reality and information that we are presented with. And so, the desire to live in ignorant bliss is greater than ever, because in ignorant bliss, one can attempt to escape and get away from the knowledge and information that controls their mind and their life, that they have accepted as ‘the way things are’ in this reality. At every turn our reality is bombarding us with this information about ‘the way things are’ – it is in our commercials, on our TV, in our movies, magazines, newspapers, books, schools, from friends and families – all communicating 1 essential message: you are a slave, you can never change your reality, you must follow and be content with the content that is presented to you as your entertainment. Even our knowledge becomes as polarized as we are because our reading skills and ability to assess information become subject to the ‘good kinds of knowledge’ (entertainment) and the ‘bad kinds of knowledge’ (knowledge about our world/reality).

So as we are living in this age of information, with the internet and the widespread reach of information being like it has never been before on this earth, we are bombarded and there is more pressure to conform and give up than ever before – and yet it is in this bombardment that we are given the keys to our reality: when we decide to be self directive, when we decide that we will face this world as the information it throws at us, when we decide to take self responsibility in understanding that which we are faced with as our world and how we have come to create it – a new self is able to emerge from within it all, and this new self is able to create a new world in its image and likeness. As such, self is no longer required to feel subject to all that self is exposed to as the information of this reality that has influenced and controlled the way that self lives and exists – another way is possible where we exist within it all, yet we are no longer controlled, affected or directed by it all. It takes self honesty, it leads to self forgiveness, and inevitably self change, because when standing self honestly in the face of what this world has become – a playground for demons as those lost in delusion – we have no other recourse than to stand as the solution of what is best for all life. However, no said it would be easy.

The amount of deception and delusion that exists in this reality – which is dispensed at the level of knowledge/information – is extensive and surely this endeavor of standing within it all as the message of life that holds life in the highest regard above all knowledge/information as cultural brainwashing and deception, is an endeavor that will require steadfastness, strictness, humbleness, perseverance, self will, self forgiveness, self honesty, self will and self commitment – to no longer be influenced by the information that controls our lives through spoken words and written symbols, and to unconditionally stand as a beacon of stability as self trust in self honesty, only allowing self to live by and according to the principles which honor all life equally in the highest regard. They key in self honesty is to be forthcoming as the one who is equally and the utmost responsible for what we have created as this massive deception that exists on earth as the knowledge/information that we are conditioned by, identify ourselves by and live according to – I have committed the same sins, I have fallen just as my fellow man has and as the one responsible for creating this age we are living in, as one who finds themselves equally here as part of this mess-age, I stand as the message of life: that the knowledge and information that we live by that is in conflict with life and seeks to abuse and destroy life will no longer be allowed to have any power or control over myself as life – and as such I remain here as the breath of life, directing all that may require direction as my attention given as necessary to sort out the mess we have found ourselves in. This is a commitment that can not be fickle or fair-weather, but must be done in the face of all words that are thrown at us as the continued bombardment of the words/knowledge/information that seeks to enslave us and keep us trapped in patterns of the past, where we believe we are safe, but where the system always has you the most controlled.

Day 292: Resistance to writing, self support and fear of loss

I am here again to write about my experiences of resistance towards writing as a self support tool in my process. What I do know about not writing is that I am making a decision to suppress myself, to ignore myself, to neglect myself. I mean I give all these other people and things attention on a daily basis in my life, and yet I don’t even want to give the same attention to myself. Even helping and supporting others seems easier – and yet it is not effective to do this without supporting self too. What I also know is that if I do not engage myself in this process, I will be angry. I will be angry at myself for this decision I have made and how I have limited and neglected myself so extensively, and I will continue to be unhappy about my living conditions and the state the world is in because of the fact that I know that I did absolutely nothing to be able to change it. I know, I know, I know…and yet during times where I am stuck in a rut of resistance, knowing doesn’t seem to make any difference – only DOING makes a difference.

 

This is the problem with knowledge and information in the way that we utilize it: that knowledge and information without practical application is useless. This doesn’t have to mean anything profound, it just means that I might know all this stuff, but I’ve got to speak it, look at it, study it, consider it, explore it, expand on it, investigate it, question it, question myself within it – I mean, I’ve got to live, and no matter how much I know or what I have learned as acquired knowledge – without the natural flow of self expression, including expressing myself with/as myself here alone – nothing I learn is of any use.

 

Sometimes I get a little extreme with this point of applying knowledge, where a solution really looks and sounds great, and I just want to force it onto my life, just try to impose it and stick with it, and then it is like, if it doesn’t work, I feel shitty and I judge myself because “I had the answer, why did I fall? How could I have fallen, I did everything right!”. I can see that this kind of assessment is what ends up fucking with me because I think I have the answer, and then there are like these rules formed – what to do and what not to do – and based on how I follow this, I judge myself – good for following the rules, bad for not following the rules. What I fail to consider here is that there are no rules – just directive principles that are necessary to be explored in terms of how they can be practically applied in my particular situation. This takes quite some doing because with the mess that this world is in, to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ requires doing so within a system that is inherently abusive towards life. I mean, everything about the way we live is evil by virtue of our participation in an evil system which causes massive and untold suffering.

 

By giving myself the gift of writing, I am giving myself an opportunity to work out practically what it would mean to apply the principles which I want to live by – equality and oneness. It is through writing that I can ask myself simple questions, where I can consider decisions and choices and through the principle of 1+1+1+1….I am able to eventually work things out. If I come to a limit in what I can do in writing, then perhaps a point requires more research or physical investigation. I can see that the desire to ‘want to know what to do’ and ‘have all the answers already’ is something that fucks me and in the past has pushed me to make rash decisions. I have to hold my own hand and actually walk this process, with a kind of patience – the ind of patience that does not require effort but rather only breath, because within this I am trusting myself to always be here to support myself in walking this process, and thus the fear of loss diminishes and I can allow patience as self expression to emerge.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to look for/try to create answers within the desire to do so that is birthed in the fear of loss, as a result of not applying myself in self writing and making the unconditional commitment to simply support myself and get to know myself through writing and whatever other tasks/activities my process may entail

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create rules for myself to follow within the belief that I have things figured out – not stopping to question why it might be so difficult to follow these rules and to investigate this experience as part of the overall process of walking myself through this experience and directing myself within it

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to look for knowledge as the desire for ‘profound answers’ rather than simply living myself in physical application as living knowledge as who I am

 

I commit myself to utilize the tool of writing as a self expression here in the moment and to direct myself within self writing without preconceived ideas – I commit myself to ask myself questions and consider decisions and possible outcomes in working out what equality and oneness in practical application would look like

 

When and as I see myself wanting/desiring to make rash decisions based within the fear of loss or because I fear a point – I stop, I breathe, and I do not participate in my desire – rather, I continue to focus on breath until this desire passes.I simply remain here as breath as a form of self support and self comfort, to show self that ‘hey, I’m here, I am stable, I am not going anywhere, I do not have to obey my mind, I do not have to believe my fear’, I do not have to be a slave to this fear’ and that life is in fact possible without the mind – I embrace the nothingness of breath within and as the certainty that I am here and as long as I am here in self trust as the commitment to live self honestly as breath – I will always make decisions that support the breath of life

Day 260: Do we know how much we don’t know?

 

In the last blog I gave an update to stopping a habit in my life that only serves to distract me from that which is real, that which is important and requires my attention. There are several points like this in my life and they preoccupy me primarily through my thoughts as my thought patterns, taking me away from reality into a fantasy world of distractions and preoccupations – one can call it them illusions because they are the things I give importance to which are not important in fact. With everyone essentially existing in this way: it is no wonder the world is so dysfunctional, why people are so ignorant and ineffective, not living to our full potential and making an absolute mess of this world.

I briefly mentioned how in stopping the habits as distractions/illusions, more time opens up, more opportunity opens up to in fact give life/my reality the attention that is required to actually work towards effecting a change. What I haven’t focused on as much, is the vastness of the amount of work that is necessary to be done, in terms of that which requires our attention in this reality, as the urgent necessity to sort out our world.

The degree to which we are existing in our habits that serve to distract us from our reality, as illusions that are based in our self interest, is always equal to the degree to which we are ignorant of what is really going on in our world – and have a look at how much the average person is preoccupied with and driven by their own self interest – virtually everything we do on a daily basis revolves around our self interest, virtually all of our priorities revolve around what will make us feel good. That is the weakness, as the fear of loss that creates desire, that allows for us to be so deaf dumb and blind, that we have practically no directive principle in life.

I was watching a documentary film tonight, called ‘Matrix of Power’ by Jordan Maxwell. He is a researcher of the occult – secret powers which he claims control the world and influence/direct human activity to serve the interests of a small few in the world. Of course, it is foolish to listen to any being as if their word is the gospel, but having seen first hand the extent of the deception that exist internalized within my own mind, much of what he claims really does not surprise me. If even half of what he says is true – it is quite amazing the degree to which we have no idea what is really going on in this world and the actual extent of evil that dominates this world. What is the role of ‘we the people’ within all of this – this point of self interested illusions that I have aforementioned. As long as things are fine and dandy within our own minds, because we are feeding ourselves constantly with the things that make us feel good, then we have given full permission to see the world in naïve, rose-colored lenses. It is hard to fathom such evil when your outlook on reality is influenced by the constant buzz of good feelings – because within such a point of mental intoxication – you are in fact living such evil, by contributing the evil that exist in this world through remaining deaf, dumb and blind. it is foolish to blame the elite or secret societies in this world as being the administers of the systems of control/enslavement in our world, as from a certain perspective even they are just sheep, living in fear of their fellow human being and just towing the line which they were born into. And this is not to mention that: if you or I were born into their shoes, we would have done the exact same things. What gives us the self righteous idea that we would not be equally tempted and corrupted by such power?

I was originally going to blog today on the point of fearing what others can do to you, the fear of others casing you harm – and yet in this last paragraph, I have addressed this point – the fear of what others may do to you is equal to what you have allowed to be done unto yourself/others through remaining ignorant and illusioned. We live within such a fear because there is a deep-seeded awareness that our ignorant bliss is a form of spite which through which we indirectly inflict harm onto others in this world by living so ignorantly and abdicating our self responsibility towards life. There is also the deep awareness that what goes around comes around. This is why, slowly but surely, more and more people are finding – to their apparent surprise, shock and dismay – their freedoms and rights being taken away – were they ever even freedoms and rights in the first place? Or was that just another self interested illusion of ‘freedom’ which we used to fool ourselves with to again, be able to remain within bubbles of self interest and never actually take responsibility for our lives?

I suggest to study Desteni – because this is the group that actually understands the vital part that the individual plays in their own enslavement and the enslavement of life on earth, and thus that the key to being effective to stop the systems of control/enslavement that exist is to first stop such systems within self, as stopping participation in our vices, habits, patterns and addictions that only serve to keep us deaf, dumb, blind, ignorant and ultimately slaves to our own mind.

Day 144: What is the big idea behind success? Part 3

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear not exhibiting the kind of character that others like or focusing on the kind of knowledge that others value within the context of fearing failure to be accepted by the group, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate fitting in with the group with survival and thus fearing failing to be accepted and like and being rejected by the group with not surviving, creating the idea of not fitting in as ‘the worst thing I could do’ and thus feel a strong urge/necessity to access characters/personalities/knowledge in the attempt to be liked/accepted by others

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – within the context of wanting to be accepted by/fit in with the group – define making a mistake as the worst possible thing I could do, and that I have not allowed myself to make mistakes and trust myself within living and potentially make mistakes, within the context of utilizing mistakes to learn to live more effectively

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stagnating within the fear of making mistakes is much worse than living and making mistakes because in fact my whole life has already become one big mistake and thus it must be LIVED to even be able to see what requires to be learnt/corrected – not realizing that not allowing myself to live and make mistakes within self trust is in fact further accepting myself as inferior because I do not trust myself to learn and improve, giving myself the trust opportunity that I can become better

 

When and as I see myself going into characters/personalities and latching on to knowledge/ideas which I will believe will please others within the fear of making mistakes and not being accepted/surviving within the group – I stop, I breathe, I allow myself to stand alone here in self trust and self honesty and live unconditionally, and I do not allow myself to participate in this fear of the mind as these characters/knowledge – I realize that I do not require personalities/knowledge to live and trust myself in self honesty to live here as the physical, without ideas

 

I commit myself to walk my process as a physical process and live without dependency on knowledge and characters/personalities to survive

 

When I see myself suppressing myself/stagnating because I fear making a mistake – I stop, I breathe, I allow myself to live naturally here even if I make mistakes initially as I trust myself to be self honest and learn from my mistakes, I realize that I will never learn if I suppress myself and that I must face who I am currently here in the moment – I do not participate in this idea of the mind of trying to be a certain ‘perfect character that does not make my mistakes’ and thus, I stop suppressing myself/stagnating

 

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself through ‘perfect characters’ of what I would like/project myself to be within the acceptance/allowance of my own inferiority/imperfection, and to live naturally even if I make mistakes – I commit myself to live naturally here as who I am, even if it means making mistakes initially as I trust myself to learn from myself through facing myself

 

Day 143: What is the big idea behind success? Part 2

I’d like to look more at these character activations that take place which I wrote about in my previous blog, where – within the fear of not being successful within a task, I will go into a kind of character or become dependent on some kind of idea that must be applied, in order to apparently be successful, as a lack of self trust that I can not apply myself here in the moment.

Today during a lesson, I noticed how a lot of this was based within the fear of what others think about me, and how I would be judged and thus, that I may fail. The fear that maybe I am not exhibiting the right character that pleases someone, or not focusing on the knowledge that they deem acceptable. The essential point is the fear of failure because it is as though I have associated the fear of failure with death and not surviving. I remember past experiences where failure would mean a kind of rejection from the group, and from a young age I have made associations with inclusion into the group and survival.

And yet, failure and making mistakes is so crucial to survival, and more importantly, living. I even tell my students this, and slowly I am still learning that mistakes are actually rather cool if we use them as an opportunity to learn and grow.

This may seem like a simple, obvious thing, yet I have lived in an entire life/system design where I have lived-in the statement: ‘whatever you do, don’t make a mistake!’ and the stagnation and fear that this produces as a way of life is really not a cool experience that I would recommend to anyone.

This fear becomes so immense, that the desire to compensate for it through the creation of mental entities – within the attempt to be something that is apparently perfect based on a mental design, rather than simply learning what perfection is through making mistakes – becomes extensive, and before I know it; I am not myself and I am living in a state of fear as this fake character creation I have created. I have been dishonest with myself in accepting and allowing myself to exist as inferior, through not allowing myself to simply live and learn from making mistakes, because I am in fact able to learn from them and improve myself through them, and I do not require to become or subscribe to anything else, that is beyond this point: living here in the physical reality, without any crutches. The fact is, this is the only road to perfection – to learn.

I will continue with more self forgiveness and self corrective statements on this point in part 3.

Day 142: What is the big idea behind success?

Within this point of success I have been looking at recently, in terms of effective living application, I have noticed a lot of fear of failure. This fear of failure is generated from not only a self belief of inferiority, but the actual living of self that is influenced by this self belief, and this living of self as inferior (being ineffective) that then reinforces the initial belief of inferiority. What happens when the self belief of inferiority is lived, is that it will activate all kinds of thoughts, feelings and emotions, and when I go into these mental/energetic experiences – I am not here, breathing/living in the physical – how can I be effective in applying myself in doing what I am doing, when I am not even here? This is how a lot of screw ups occur – like a car accident where someone’s attention is diverted from what is here, and the whole task turns into a wreck. Everyone has this experience before, and with regards to things like school and work, I have experienced this extensively. Having lived this self belief of inferiority into physical manifestation has given me all the more reason to believe that it is real, which perpetuates the cycle through a self acceptance as this self belief.

Now what I have noticed is that I have developed other mental mechanisms to compensate for this self acceptance of this self belief, where it is like engrained that ‘I am a fuck up, I cannot do this effectively. Within the fear that is created through this self acceptance, I had developed new mechanisms to apparently help me with a task. Ways of compensating for the actual natural abilities of the physical, that tend to be mental in nature. It is like being lost at sea, and rather than using your abilities to swim to land, finding a life preserver and just floating there, hoping everything will work out, fully accepting that I am lost at sea and within this full acceptance, not considering the actual real physical self that is able to swim, or let alone looking around because maybe there may even be land nearby.

I have noticed for instance that teaching can very easily become this way, because teaching really is such a dynamic thing that takes place from moment to moment, and thus it is vital to be here in every moment of teaching. However I have found this tendency to try to ‘hold onto a life preserver’ – which in this case, would be getting stuck on an idea, and just trying to stick with it, no matter what. It could be to stick with only a particular topic, for instance, or just sticking to one singular form of teaching/explaining this topic. This has occurred extensively with teaching in general, if you have a look in schools, where the pedagogy has become extremely rigid and uniform, and there is like only one way that things can apparently be taught and learned – all just because we’ve completely hung up on this one idea.

Another place in my life I have noticed it is with social interactions, where I may encounter situations where I don’t know how to act or deal with something (notice how messed up it is that I should even have a ‘way that I should act’ in the first place) I will just generally revert to an idea of being some kind of likeable character, where I am nice and friendly and positive and polite – and not actually looking at the real substance of what is taking place, and thus not seeing what would actually be required to be done in this situation.

Yet another place I notice this is when something I am doing is not working, and I am already convinced it should be working, it is like I just try and do it harder, just keep trying, keep pushing and kick up the intensity a notch, leading myself to the inevitable ‘banging my head against a wall’ experience – being so invested in an idea that I might not stop to notice: this isn’t working, time to actually breathe and look at the situation here.

So what this all boils down to is a form of ‘overcompensating’ through utilizing ideas of the mind and going ‘above and beyond’ what is here, by placing ‘higher value’ in ideas of the mind than simply actually being here in the moment to physically apply myself. Yes it is necessary that knowledge may be required to be applied, but when knowledge is actually applied it is done so physically – that’s why we can do so much without having knowledge/ideas attached to it. We have gone way too far with this idea of knowledge being the ‘be all end all’ that it is almost like we believe we are incapable of living without knowledge, and it is based in a lack of self trust where we do not trust ourselves to live and apply ourselves here in the moment – even if we don’t ‘know what to do’. This is extensive, where we believe that we have to know all kinds of things, act all kinds of certain ways, become all kinds of characters, feel all kinds of feelings and energies – just to live and survive!

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require some kind of knowledge to help me/save me/guide me/hold my hand, within the self abandonment I have done through accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am inferior and going into the energy of the mind as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, removing myself from the physical reality here and thus recreating and reinforcing this self belief as inferior

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘going into the deep end’ by allowing myself to jump into the pool of life and trust myself here in the moment unconditionally to apply myself here in self honest common sense

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create and recreate the fear of failure through a lack of self trust as believing that I must have an idea as a plan/safety net to be able to live, work and apply myself, and depend on this idea and fear not applying the idea correctly/effectively because I’ve allowed myself to believe that if I do not, I will fail apparently – when in fact life can only be lived here, breath by breath and require no knowledge/ideas

When and as I see myself going into an idea/character/personality of what I should apparently do or be within applying myself here in living/working – I stop, I breathe, I realize that this tendency is in fact based in a self belief of inferiority as accepting myself to be less than an idea and thus believing that I depend on this idea to live and apply myself – and I do not participate within and as this idea

I commit myself to ‘jump into the deep end’ of life and stop the fear of failure through applying myself unconditionally here and trusting myself within and as breath to live effectively here, moment by moment

Day 121: Beliefs about sleep and nutrition – how much do we really understand about health?

Today, I woke up early after not much sleep – somewhere under 6 hours, as I had to get up early and I went to bed late, and it took me a while to get to sleep. Waking up was hard as hell, I felt so tired and groggy, and just wanted to sleep more, but I pulled myself out of bed to get to school and really once I made the decision to get up, got a coffee and went on with my day, it was actually cool and the grogginess and lethargy went away. Sometimes the grogginess doesn’t go away throughout the day and the day is difficult until I get some sleep, but strangely enough sometimes I will be groggy and tired all day, but then when the time comes to sleep, I can’t sleep.

 

My whole day was actually pretty cool energy-wise – I expected that I was going to be super tired and want a nap when I got home from school, but I didn’t. I thought about it, like ‘maybe I need to rest’ – even before I got home from school, almost anticipating it as something I should do because of when I got up and the knowledge of how many hours of sleep I got. But I simply continued with my day, did some studying, went to work and came home and it is only now that my body is starting to feel a bit tired, at nearly 12am. How well work went really surprised me, normally it can really feel like more of a drag than it really is. Not only did I notice a lack of fatigue, but I noticed how I was calm throughout my day and effective in my work because of this.

 

There have been so many experiences I noticed lately like this – regarding sleep and nutrition – where I keep having ideas about what I should or shouldn’t do, what is ideal and what is not – that just get shattered through my daily experiences, leaving me to question – wtf? How does this really work?

 

The fact is that I don’t know anything about how it really works other than assumptions that I make, through making associations with how I feel/experience with things in my outside environment, like sleep and food – somewhat randomly – where I look for the most likely thing to associate this experience with and sort of attribute this experience to it – it is a kind of form of blame.

 

What can I actually do, practically, effectively? I can work with the body – the one thing I am actually aware of! I can pay attention to the body is experiencing itself – give it rest when it needs rest, food when it needs food. Seems simplistic, doesn’t it? But what can complicate this is the mind, as the mind tends to create its own kind of food and hunger, and its own kind of tiredness and need for rest. In fact, these things are really just food as addiction to stimulation, and rest as lethargy and laziness.

 

I have a hard time distinguishing these two things, except for one telling point – the desire for food and sleep as mental addictions always comes up as a thought – “oh I am hungry, I want to eat this thing, oh I want to lie down and maybe I should rest”. Today for instance I got a craving for McDonalds, which I simply did not act on from too many experiences of eating McDonalds that felt shitty afterwards, so being aware of the consequences I did not do this, but I really had the desire to. Breaking addictions is a process, as the desires still come up and it will take a process of disengagement for those processes to come up less and less, and less intensely so. I would rather not learn through the consequence of having a shitty experience, so I am able to identify the nature of these desires as whether they are mental/based in thought or not, as a way of being pre-emptive and pro-active.

 

I really enjoyed not feeling so tired all day, not just this, but there was a kind of clarity that I haven’t had in a while, as I find that since I had been just letting myself sleep until I wake up, which would usually be 8 hours or so, there was like a kind of mental ‘wall’ – it is difficult to explain, but it is like it was hard to focus on anything and everything was difficult, I resisted everything and I became sluggish. Perhaps this is not so much based in the number of hours of sleep, but the very nature of being sluggish and not being pro active in general. Just sleeping until I wake up, and then sort of stumble through my day until I finally HAVE to do stuff. It really is a kind of laziness-drug lethargy, which would explain this ‘wall experience’ I’m having. Perhaps it is time to start a schedule where I wake up and do so with purpose – to give my life purpose and meaning where I wake up and want to wake up because I have activities that I would like to participate in. This, like giving up the addictions, may be a process, but I’m sure that being active and living with real purpose is something that I could get used to.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to self indulgence and laziness and food and sleep.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in my desires/addictions of the mind as not questioning my thoughts but instead just following them as if they are real.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to give my life meaning and purpose through self direction as planning my days with activities that are fulfilling and meaningful which would have make the act of waking up more enjoyable as living a life with fun activities that have meaning and purpose.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in or give any attention to ideas/beliefs/thoughts/perceptions/knowledge about sleep and eating as what is apparently healthy or ideal

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot break the addiction to sleep and food and live a life of meaning and fun and activity

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to direct myself in every moment and be proactive instead of only doing things when I am absolutely forced to/it is necessary

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs through arbitrary associations between how I experience myself and my outer world as food/sleeping in a search for answers outside myself as knowledge

 

When and as I see myself searching for answers by creating associations with how I experience myself with things in my outer world as food/sleeping – I stop, I breathe, I realize and understand that the mind does not understand the body and only seeks answers ‘out there’ separate from it as knowledge/ideas/beliefs/opinions – and I do not participate in the creation of these associations

 

When and as I see myself having thoughts/ideas/perceptions/opinions/beliefs/knowledge about sleep and eating, I stop, I breathe, and I do not allow myself to participate in the mind

 

I commit myself to support the body only in what it actually physically needs/requires

 

I commit myself to schedule myself and direct myself in every moment throughout my days and in this way, give my life purpose and meaning and learn a new kind of fulfillment and fun that is based within the context/starting point of self honesty and what is best for all life

 

I commit myself to break the habit of food and sleep addiction as lethargy and addiction to stimulation and move myself no matter how difficult it may seem in that moment – I move myself and breathe until this energy passes

 

www.desteni.org

www.desteniiprocess.com

www.equalmoney.org