Tag Archives: Jesus

Day 317: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

I hereby commit myself to live the following Principles:

1.       Realising and living my utmost potential

2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.       Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.    Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20.    Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.    The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.    The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

Day 277: Who we are as individuals – can we be saved?



Interaction, cooperation and interconnectivity is intrinsic to human expression – without each other assisting and supporting each other as we direct ourselves in our world, we are much more limited than we would be when drawing on each others input. It is who we are. We cannot escape it, for as much as we would like to find reasons to deny each other and separate ourselves from life through a variety of self definitions as so-called ‘personalities’, we are nothing without each other.

And yet who is each one but an equal to another? Who is not an individual that consists of the whole? Each one of us has this point of individuality as our access point to our participation in the whole as the group of humanity and that group within the eco system and the rest of the universe – life. Each one stands within this point alone and cannot escape this one point but through death – to only then return as some other point! Whether in the form of human, animal, plant, dirt – whatever it is I’m not even sure is that important in the bigger picture because essentially one point just moves/transforms to another. This movement is also constant and an intrinsic, inescapable part of who we are as life. But what is the movement? Where do we go when we die? Do we determine that? In a way yes we do because we determine what the state of the earth and how beings on it may experience themselves will be in the future times to come. So our movement in this current life that we are living-out here in this moment is the movement that will determine the future movement of humanity as a whole.

If our movement is not effective, we will obviously bring onto ourselves a more difficult experience of ourselves in the times to come. What we seemed to have to done trap ourselves from actually moving froward as individuals and a species is to systematize the movement into a closed system called humanity or civiLIEzation that is a small minority closed group that dominates the earth without understanding and is thus a danger to the life that exist. We give these systems names according to their roles such as for instance ‘political system’ or ‘economic system’. We don’t exist within that system at all. Nope, because as mentioned, the systems are powered by us as individuals and thus if we as a species are trapped within our systems we have created to direct us it implies that we ourselves are driven by systems at an individual level – we internalize (internal lies, eternal lies) the system and live as the systems as we exist as them as our beliefs, thoughts, fears, emotions, opinions, feelings etc. Our experience of ourselves both within and without has become as just systems, that were not designed to be conducive to the forward development of ourselves as individuals and as a group, to develop any kind of real equality or change, to bring about any kind of real actualization of who we really are as beings on this earth as our intrinsic design implies.

Who is the doctor without the plumber? Who is the child without the parent? Who is the parent without the child? Who is the man without the woman? We define each other to the extent and that we define ourselves and our experience of ourselves and each other will reflect that. So what will the starting point of that self definition be?

We have unfortunately through illusions like ‘free choice’, money and the experience/perception of having power over others convinced ourselves that this reality is escapable, that we can deny who we are – but sooner or later, reality sets in. We cannot escape this aspect of our design and our self responsibility for self movement that is conducive to the living of the group as a whole, we cannot escape it anymore than our need to eat and sleep.

There is no escaping this reality and certainly there are no saviors. It is we at an individual level that will determine our fate and the outcome of humanity’s journey here on earth. It does not matter how success we may have within the current system and how well it bodes on us in our life, in terms of making money and friendships/bonds. It doesn’t matter if we have all the money in the world or people to take care of us. What matters is who we are and how we experience ourselves – and how others experiences themselves and this is again a reality that will set in because as we are beginning to see the consequences of just living lives of self interest where we are only concerned with our own well being and not our responsibility to ourselves as life as the individuals that contribute to the group as a whole. So while some of us may currently have a fair amount of control over their lives sufficient to make sure that they have a nice experience of themselves until they die – that is irrelevant in the bigger picture when you consider that the person absolutely loses control of what will become of them on the other side and how they will then eventually inevitably experience themselves. The only way we are able to have an input/effect onto the experience of ourselves as individuals that exist within the whole, is to decisively determine now who we will be and what we will do in this life, this very brief time that we have to have a difference with.

To only take care of this one life is foolish, to take care of only one life form is foolish, to take care of some lives and other lives is foolish. We have to know deep down how little control we have – and yet we can not deny that we have a place in this world, that we are here, that we exist, that we don’t want to die know if we have at least that choice – why would we want to be here, naturally?

Let’s stop the external illusions we use to abdicate our power and self responsibility in this world to have a better experience of ourselves and other where we do not live in such a constant state of fear due to our neglect of ourselves, and thus each other and life. We can only recognize others once we have recognized ourselves. We can first forgive ourselves for how we have abdicated ourselves with self corrective applications, and from this forgive each other through the stopping of who we were when we harmed each other and the certainty of ensuring that through our commitment to ourselves life that we will never harm again.


Day 262: Christmas and the illusion of good fortune



Christmas is a fascinating time of year in terms of studying culture and the way people tend to move like herds of sheep. I don’t mean to imply anything negative or condescending in this statement, I mean purely in the way that a sheep just follows the herd of sheep. It is even interesting in the fact that a sheep is so indistinct from the rest of the herd that we don’t even differentiate the individual sheep from the plural of sheep – they are just the same word.

I notice that everyone is so much nicer to me during Christmas. It’s a nice experience and all, but it would be nice if kindness and consideration were something that were lived year-round – wouldn’t that be awesome? If caring for others was just a way of life and every day was awesome, and we wouldn’t even dream of/looking forward to special holidays, because every day was special? What if we did not need to give fanciful gifts because giving were already a way of life, lived every day of the year?

This year I received some nice things like clothes, and I immediately noticed that I felt obliged to give something back. I mean, I would be a real douche if I could not give back equally, wouldn’t I? But then what about the conditions that allow for us to give in the first place? In a world of apparent scarcity, where millions live in extreme poverty, where thousands die every day of starvation, is it not a luxury to have enough that one can afford to give to others? It makes us look good, it makes us look generous, just like millionaires and billionaires look good because they can easily afford to give a lot of money to charities – but we just never seem to seriously question why some have more to give in the first place.

My Christmas wish is for all life on earth to live be well taken care of, and all beings are supported equally to live to their full potential – except it’s not really a Christmas wish at all, because wouldn’t it be really useless and disingenuous to only want such a thing for 1 day out of 365? Wouldn’t it be even more disingenuous to just wish for it, and not actually work towards making it happen?

If there were any original grain of nobility in the ideal of Christmas, we have surely missed it in what Christmas has become. We simply accept the world system for what it is, with all of it’s abuse and neglect of life, and then we just turn around and have parties and celebrations once in a while so things don’t seem quite so bad. We blindly accept and follow those celebrations too. I have heard some say that they are not followers, that they do Christmas ‘their way’ and claim not to buy all of the bullshit – really? It is an amazing coincidence then, that ‘doing it their way’ just so happens to fall at the exact same time of year as the Christmas crowd.

Let’s face it – there is massive pressure to conform to Christmas in the way that it has been so fanatically defined as an intrinsically positive thing in our culture, so much pressure that we know that to do nothing, to absolutely conform in no way whatsoever and just treat Christmas for what it is – just another day – is something that prompts us to fear being judged, frowned upon, outcast and rejected by those who we call our comrades, out families, our friends, our neighbors – there is some serious bullshit and fakery going on here and if one even has enough self respect to investigate whether or not their world is a lie, I would suggest to stop participation in the Christmass and see just how much people love you.

But then again, we have accepted that ‘love is not perfect’, ‘love is flawed’ – so here we have it – love, the pinnacle of benevolent human expression, is flawed and imperfect, it can include mistakes, in can include abuse, it can include ignorance, it can include neglect, it can include judgment – is this really the best that we can do? Are we so in love with our inferiority that we will insist that this is the best we can do? 

So much more is possible – to believe that Christmas is something positive in a world that is in such dire straights, is like being in a constant state of starvation and then getting excited and believing you are having a great time when you are occasionally thrown a morsel of food. The nice feelings we get during this time are like a drug that creates an illusion that distracts us from the reality of how bad things are – and really, if you investigate what our consumer culture is actually doing to this world, it is beyond horrendous. It is also a reality that only exist – and grows – by virtue of our ignorance. As this reality grows, it will continue to encroach more and more upon our lives. Eventually, the drug of good feelings doesn’t cut it anymore, because reality sets in. In every moment we have a choice: to remain ignorant, blinded by our illusions created in self interest – or to stand up for life.

Day 245: What is the context of our personal challenges?


No matter what goes on in this world and how bad things get, we humans are a stubborn lot and we just don’t seem to learn, just can’t seem to manage to figure out that message that guys like Jesus left us 2000 years ago to love our neighbours as ourselves. It seems like this system of control that we have created for ourselves to keep us blind, dumb and stupid to what is really going on in this world. It’s December now and here in Canada masses of people will be busy brainwashing themselves with the illusion of created with Christmas with feelings of love while the worlds plight descend to a new low. What magnificent beings of love and light we are.

Is it really so hard to see what is going on? Are we really so weak and pathetic that we can’t even stand to look at ourselves and reality in the face? Are we really so evil that we can continue living lives of hedonism and self interest and turn a blind eye, not implicating ourselves as equal contributors to the mess that this world is in?

Everyone has it within themselves to rise to these challenges – and the world will become a more and more challenging place to exist in – but it is like people we have allowed ourselves to become so weak, so disconnected from ourselves, we have given our power away to ‘higher powers’ (whatever form each person’s ‘higher power’ comes in is variable) so extensively that standing up for life, literally looks impossible. Imagine that – brainwashing that is so effective and pervasive that we actually believe that making this world into a place that is best for all life is impossible. We have come to love our self abuse, our plight – we identify with it, we believe it is us, just because it is all that we’ve ever known.

This pathology of weakness carries on and on and we spend our lives running from reality, doing whatever it takes to not have to consider and investigate what is really going on in this world. That is why every now and then, some trauma is quite useful, as life’s way of showing you what the fuck is really up. What happens in situations of trauma? We can either fold and crawl back under a rock with our tails between our legs – or we can sand up. Have you ever had a tough experience in life, a cold, hard dose of reality, and realized that you simply have to act, to stand up? I mean, what else is there to do?

I understand how hard it is to change. I understand how difficult it is to get out of your own illusion. I understand how hard it is to give up the things you think you like, that give you that nice little feeling of happiness that we’re so addicted to. I am challenged by it everyday and my past habits/patterns/addictions echo with me every day in my mind as waning thoughts that gradually decrease in intensity every time that I do not accept and allow myself to participate in them. We are our own worst enemies, and within that, we are a threat to life. While giving up your self interest and learning to honor life seems like such a difficult thing – what is it worth to you, to stop the suffering that exists in this world? How important are your little vices and preferences and belief when compared to the absolutely monolithic scale of suffering that is taking place on earth, without anyone even really noticing or caring? The petty shit we constantly preoccupy ourselves with is really nothing when you see what it really going on 

There are consequences to all of this. We are in big shit. I mean, really big shit. We may as well give up everything now because it is going to be taken away from us sooner or later. Everyone dies, but not everybody is prepared to die. We will have to give up everything inevitably, and yet no one wants to give up everything. How stupid is that? And yet we cling onto the illusion that we can hold onto it all and that we can even ‘own’ it – ownership being a form of human delusion unto itself – not realizing that the more we cling on, the more we lose, the more we lose ourselves to an illusion, and then we just become losers. Addicted to the happy feelings and thought that we believe to be so real, like a ‘loser’ drug addict – it really makes people pathetically weak. Do we actually believe money will save us? Do we actually believe that positive thinking and happy feelings with save us? We know they are all fleeting. We’ve all experience this. And yet, we just don’t seem to get it. 

The best trauma for all of this is breath – stop the illusions that exist in your mind as your thoughts,, feelings and emotions, because they are just fear anyways. It is a ‘pro-active’ way of facing the inevitable end, because rather than having things end horribly as an experience because you’re being forced to give up your illusions, you are rather doing it for yourself, slowly but surely – not to mention that in the meantime, you are learning about life and how to care for life and how to enjoy life – and not even to mention making this place a better place for all other life, if that is at all on your radar.

This post is not meant to judge, because we ALL do this in some capacity of another. It is a reminder to self of the actual seriousness and scope of what we are a part of – this all means much more than you or I, this world is much bigger than we as individuals – but perhaps we don’t see that because we have not even realize that who we really are is much bigger than who we believe ourselves to be, as the illusions we have created of ourselves in separation to life. What seems like each persons greatest most insurmountable challenge – that which they could hardly even conceive that they are capable of doing because it is apparently so beyond them – is they key to finding out who we really are as life. Challenge yourself. Challenge everything. Embrace a bit of trauma every now and again – be it from your own gentle wake up call of breath, or the harsh hand of consequence – face it all, and have fun.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand what is actually at stake with regards to my process and transcending points of self-limitation

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that process does not have to be so difficult if it is self directive, that it does not have to be a point of ‘pushing’ myself through resistances because I have given them power, but rather that I am able to simply stop, breathe, recognize what must be done, and simply walk this point in doing whatever is necessary to be done, as a simply recognition in self honesty and self trust

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to worry about what others may think of me – and that I have not allowed myself to look at my own illusions to see what is really real and what is of real value/importance/priority

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid the inevitable – giving up everything and becoming part of the process that is taking place here on earth

I commit myself to stop the mind through breath and embrace all that I experience as ‘trauma’, in contrast to the illusion that I have created within/as myself as the mind – I commit myself to give myself the support I require to stop all illusions as breath and employ tools like self honesty, and self forgiveness in written word, spoken word and deed

When and as I see myself wanting to follow the mind and using excuses/justifications as to why I can apparently follow the mind without consequences – I stop, I breathe, I realize the actual context of reality that I exist within and that I am actually creating myself and my consequences as this world in every moment, and thus I do not allow myself to participate in such delusions as my thoughts, feeling and emotions

I commit myself to continue to educate myself to give myself the strength and resolve to stand as life, by giving myself the education of life – to exist here purely within/as the physical, equal and one – stopping all illusions as fear and inferiority

Day 194: Die well, Bernard Poolman

I’m here to speak about Bernard Poolman, who passed away on August 11, 2013. When I heard of the news at first, I had to re-read the words a few times to make sure that this is what I was actually reading. I was flabbergasted. In shock and disbelief. I didn’t expect it at all, I mean I had even thought before about what it might be like in the future one day when I am in my 50’s and Bernard is in his 70’s, what life would be like then. This was totally unexpected as there was no kind of illness leading up to his death. My initial reaction was to try and make sense of it – how it happened or what it means, so that I can understand it sufficiently to make some kind of value judgment on it.

The truth is that in reality death is just another part of life. Life is life and has no beginning or end as it is life, and thus with every death as an ending, there is also a new beginning. As I am writing this, I am reminded that Bernard was actually the person who assisted me to open my mind and see death in a different light – not as something negative to be feared and avoided as we are taught to, but to embrace the opportunity that presents itself within change.

There was some sadness within my reaction to Bernards death, but interestingly enough I noticed that there was actually a part of me that kind of wanted to be sad. The fact is that (once again, as I remember Bernard once saying) sadness is pointless, and if I really look at it self-honestly, the desire to cry is really a selfish thing. I say this because Bernard was a being who truly lived every breath like it was his last: he did everything possible while he was alive on this earth to support me and all life to self-realize. He had already since a long time ago given me and everyone else the necessary tools to be able to create a life of perfection, to create a heaven on earth for myself and all of my brothers and sisters. He truly did everything possible to enable people rather than be dependent on him, and for this reason, I or no one else require Bernard to be around any longer for us to do what is necessary to be done to create a world that is best for all.

The only reason I could find for wanting him to stay is to have some sense of security, that ‘everything is ok because Bernard is here and he is almighty’ – which would then be the exact opposite of his message and a selfish thing because as long as I have this warm feeling rooted in dependency, then I will not change.

Bernards death drives this point to home. It is like a father figure dying in the sense that there is this cold, hard realization that ‘oh shit, I am on my own now, it is all up to me’ – and it is perfectly fitting because again, this was the message all along and it only reflects to me where I had missed the point of it.

It is funny how even in death Bernard has me looking at myself in self honesty. Everything he ever did always lead towards this same outcome: to support others to realize themselves and take responsibility for themselves, and I have never met a being that was so selfless and so impersonal, and yet was ‘so close to me’ – although these words are insufficient to explain this because it was more than that: with Bernard, if even for a moment of being with him or in his presence, you truly experienced what equality was and could be, what it was like to be beyond separation, and one with and equal to another being that is truly you, living in another individualized expression. I had never experienced anything like it.

Of course I will miss him and his expression, but within living oneness and equality, nothing is truly missed because again, the point is not to stand as separate to this point but to actually become one with and equal to it.

So getting past how I relate to the death of Bernard, I would like to speak more on the actual man he was, for anyone who is interested to know from my own personal account. I first encountered Bernard through the Desteni forums in October 2007. He didn’t often write large posts nor did he need to – I was always amazed at how powerful and directive his words could be, and yet with so few words and such simplistic terminology. The things he would say rang throughout existence as they were words that seemed to encompass an understanding of life in it’s entirety – and so within this the words would also ring true in my own life. The kind of words that applied directly to everybody’s life which everyone could relate to, providing us with clarity and stability along with intrigue and fascination. In a short time and with a few simple words, Bernard had already changed my life and opened my eyes to new perspectives that I had never before fathomed, yet explained everything that I had been experiencing in my life and that I had yearned to understand. After some time of asking questions on the Desteni forums, the first words he had ever spoken to me “you will not understand with the mind” were groundbreaking and spoke volumes to me, having vast implications over my life and how I would perceive everything in my life from this point onwards.

I knew that although I did not always fully grasp what this man was saying, that his words and his message were something that I really had to come to understand if I was ever to understand myself and this world, which he had already shown me, there was much, much more to it than I was aware of. Through very tough times I was extremely fortunate to have him here, and despite being a person as dedicated, committed and busy as he was (he once mentioned to me that he gets about 1000 e-mails a day) he was always there to assist me when called upon. There were never any pleasantries or small talk with Bernard, something that might be unnerving, and yet it was never needed as the substance of your interaction with Bernard spoke for itself – no reaffirmations were ever need to convince yourself that your experience with him was a positive thing, as is so commonly the case in all other day to day interactions with people.

Through the stability and purity of his words, Bernard showed his trustworthiness and there was not a single human being that I would have trusted with my life any more than him. And when I say ‘my life’ – I do not mean in terms of my survival or self interest – quite the opposite, as in that sense he posed the greatest threat! And yet despite any fear of loss or change, Bernard always has and always will stand as the reassuring example and stability that this is process of self change that I am undertaking is what must be done, that this is who I really am.

In March of 2010 I was fortunate enough to go to the Desteni farm and meet Bernard face to face. When I walked into the kitchen of the main house for the first time, he happened to be walking directly towards where I had come in, immediately stuck out his hand to shake mine and said “stop following me”, which was something that was written on a graphic T-shirt I was wearing at the time, and coincidentally this statement made from my shirt related directly to my process. There were many of these kinds of funny moments. I was initially very nervous to be meeting what I considered such a great man, and yet by the time came that I actually met him, all of that completely vanished and it was unexpectedly natural and fluid, it is like his presence allowed me to really be myself, and contrary to how I can be, I found myself extremely quiet in his presence, as if every word I could speak, before I could speak it, was reflected back to myself and so before my mouth even opened, I knew whether or not I was talking shit.

I noticed that Bernard moved very fluidly in everything that he did, he was always working hard at something, he was extremely dedicated and yet always cool, and he was always being followed by about 10 dogs! Surely they also enjoyed the stability of his presence. Having conversation with him was fascinating – he would show me things about myself that I was not even aware of, he would explain things about myself and existence that I could barely fathom, and within this it was always implied that he had the faith in me to eventually get what he was saying, despite how small or insignificant I may believe myself to be. Bernard was a person who had absolute faith in the potential of the human, despite all evidence pointing to the opposite, despite how much we may not believe in ourselves, he did. And while I had some fascinating discussions about the ‘bigger picture’ of life, no conversation or task was ever too small for Bernard. As an example, there was a time that I was trying to figure out how the fizzy drink machine in the kitchen worked. He showed me effectively how to use it and that was it. A seemingly small thing and yet it shattered any kinds of delusions of grandeur I may have had about him.

I always expected Bernard to be ‘hard on me’, being aware that he was not one to accept anything less than ‘who you really are’ – and yet he never judged me, and was actually very gentle in giving me just exactly what was needed to assist me with a point – nothing more, nothing less. Bernard had truly given himself up in service of life, and all the most acclaiming words are not enough to describe what it is like to experience a being that is so trustworthy and so pure. It was not about what he did, it was about who he was, as all of his actions indicated that this was no acting job; he had truly gone inside himself and sorted himself out as the creation of who he was. He was that person that everyone wished they could be, the image and likeness of perfection that is possible for every human to become – and by no magical means; he had dedicated himself and walked through his own process of doing whatever it took, of giving up whatever was necessary to do what is best for all life and to be a being who could be trusted with life and was the true image and likeness of God.

It was an amazing experience, and yet it was very normal. It was very ‘special’ by contrast of what the human has become, something flawed and evil in nature, but in terms of what life should be like, it was just normal. He didn’t have super powers, he couldn’t fly or do things that would make you go ‘ooh ahh, look at how special he is and superior to everybody’, he had no extraordinary skills or talents or gifts put on display, he was, as he explained, ‘just a beast’, and his mind was darkness. “There is nothing, just darkness” He said to me about what goes on in his mind. And yet with no mind, this man had been more capable and effective than any human being I had ever met. With any person in any given moment, he seemed to know exactly what was going on with that being and exactly what to say which would be something that resonated right through the core of your being and prompted a response.

And throughout all the chaos and bleakness of our world and our future, he provided a faith that was rooted in reality and thus a stability through certainty, that eventually, we would find our way, that I would find my way, because there was only one way; life as all as one as equal – and now that we know the way, we are on our way through the process that is taking place on earth. One of the earliest things I remember reading that he said about his own story was that ‘if anyone else had been in my position, they would have done the same thing – that is the faith I have in man’.

Some of you who know of my time living and working in Thailand may also be curious to know that it was Bernard who encouraged me to undertake this experience, which I initially had declined, and I am forever grateful for it as it has been an invaluable life changing experience. It was also Bernard that encouraged me to take on the Desteni I Process course, when I initially did not participate because I believed I was not capable of doing it – this was another life changing decision.

I suppose I could go on and on about the implications of Bernards time here on earth and what he had done to change this world to become a better place and a place that is best for all life. He has shown us how significant we are, within the point of ‘who we are’ – that you matter and that your life can be of great consequence, if you are able to let go of the illusion of self as ego and embrace yourself as the physical, as that which is really life. It is a tough process and yet the most rewarding thing a person could ever undertake.

My main experience with regards to Bernards death is one of regret – but again, this is more of a self reflection of a point that already exist within me, so here Bernards death is assisting me to look at myself. As an ongoing point, which I also experienced with regard to my time spent on the farm, I regret not having done more, not having applied myself more, not having lived as Bernard did as his equal; having done everything possible to honor life in every single moment of my existence. Even in his death he stands. He stands as the example, something that can never disappear or be forgotten as its effects are here and will remain here as those who walk in his stead. And so even in death has his message remained consistent: let’s get this done! That to honor life and sort out our world is still priority #1. Bernards death has lit a fire under my ass to really have me question myself, just as he did in life – am I doing everything I possibly can to stand for life?

Bernard once joked about how when we say ‘good bye’, we are actually saying ‘good buy’ – and to rather say ‘die well’. To the mind this may sound appalling, but if you really look at it, it is a self honest statement because everybody dies, and everybody would like to die well and we would all like each other to die well because that would mean that we lead a life on earth that was worth living, where we honored all other life as ourselves as equals. Bernard was a being who truly died well.

Die well, Bernard. You will be missed, but your message and what you stood for will not.