Recently stress has been occurring in my life due to my attempts to control things that are simply out of my control. I have been attempting to control things from the starting point of believing that “this thing is a good thing, and thus I must hold onto it, I must maintain and sustain it”. It is really only due to this belief that I have struggled and become so stressed because if I were to let go of this belief, I would not simply fear losing the point but rather consider who I am without it and who I will decide to be without .
By believing that this point is ‘good’ from a starting point of believing that I need it or that I will be worse-off without out it or I am missing something. So much needless stress and anxiety could have been averted if I had simply questioned my belief.
I know I am being vague and not specific about what exactly this particular point is, but it is interesting because now that I see the principle of what I am describing through being general/vague, I can see how it applies to so much in my life, so many others points, and also applicable to so many other people in this world. It is the one thing that keeps us from really changing for the better: the belief that what we already have is positive. We hold onto positive illusions and fear the negativity of reality, when in fact the only positivity that can ever exist, exists within letting go of all illusions, no matter how seemingly positive, and simply remaining here in physical reality so that we can direct it in a way that is best for all life.
Now what remains for me is only the fear of others judging and misunderstanding me for letting go of/disengaging in what is believed to be positive. But if I fear this point, if I react to this point, it is only showing that I too still fear letting go of this point and have doubt/uncertainty about it. If I am ever to expect others to come to the same understanding or to be able to support others in any way to break free of their own positive illusions, I have to be absolute in my standing, I can not allow myself to fear or react when others judge or misunderstand. Even if I go into the other extreme/polarity of fighting with others or trying to prove something to others, I am in fact tacitly still supporting these positive illusions by fearing losing them or still believing that they are so real that I fear their might and power over me through their power and might over others – when others are really just under positive illusions, nothing more, no matter how real they make it seem.
Thus the point is to remain honest with self in every breath, to not react or fear but rather trust self through self honesty, and simply explain or clarify to those who misunderstand/judge if necessary or even possible – in many cases I will need to be ready to have others simply judge, misunderstand, get nasty even – and still just remain here within and as breath, trusting myself, being honest with myself, and within this, establishing myself and what is really real in this reality as my self directive principle – I trust myself to remain here in self honest common sense and do not allow myself to be influenced by the grip of fear from the positive illusions I have created which only serve to enslave me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of that which I believe is positive, or to try to fight to let go of it or somehow prove that it is not positive – when in fact all that is necessary is to remain here within and as breath and direct myself to not give into fear/desire. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I require a point that I have defined as positive/good that exist outside/separate from myself in order to live and thus fearing that if I lose this point, I will somehow be worse off or damned.
I commit myself to no longer stand by that which I have come to believe is positive, and when the tendency/urge arise to act on this belief as actions that are designed to sustain and maintain these positive illusions that I have created – I stop, I breathe, I remain here as breath and I do not allow myself to succumb to fear as self doubt, but rather trust myself through sticking to breath and giving myself the credit and self support that I do not require points of positivity that exist separate from me in order to live and have a fulfilled, dignified life – thus I do not give into this fear as desire to hold onto, defend or fight for illusions, as my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I embrace myself here in self trust as breath.
An Alpha Male's Journey To Life 