Tag Archives: Desteni

Day 337: Going beyond the mind and the reward of insight

I have talked before in this blog a out how easily the power of habit can take over, where I have found that there exist within me a desire to find a program of behavior that I can just stick to, so I can basically turn myself off and put my mind on autopilot – it is this underlying drive that exist within me, that was created within me through symbolic imprinting of experiences throughout my life, to live a kind of artificial life of artificial intelligence. It is fascinating how we as human beings become so robotized and don’t even realize it, realize that we have this tendency to want to robotize ourselves and find comfort in it.

 

It is an extremely effective control system because even if one has the absolute best of intentions, even if they can speak the gospel in perfect form, this intent/desire to do good is re-routed into the circular living, the circular logic (robots run on codes/programs of logic) where such intents become formatted, where ‘doing good’ becomes limited to only certain activities, and within participating in such activities in ‘autopilot mode’ where it just becomes a robotic pattern of habit, we lose ourselves – we are no longer here as breath in the physical body, but rather just existing within a program that is busy running/playing out. This is crucial because to live a life that is best for all, of real care and love for life – can never be a program, can never be defined only by certain acts – because in doing so, we deny our inherent ability to direct ourselves and live life in a way that is best for all in every moment, self directively – it is as though we do not trust ourselves/give ourselves the confidence to do so, and so abdicate such responsibility to a program. Eventually, the program takes over and becomes warped and a twisted mockery of itself, a shadow of itself, as religion and morality so often does – that is because these are, again, formatted systems of benevolence.

 

We as human beings are set up to do this and so our entire lives and all that we do/participate in become subject to/contextualized by this tendency to live systematically. If there are any criticisms of Destonians being robotic and merely ‘spewing the gospel’ that are valid as observations, it is due to this tendency, that, despite being educated on principles that are truly best for all life, the pre-existing tendency to format and systematize new information and behaviors can still take over – it is easy to ‘talk the Desteni talk’ – living it is a whole other story – just like Christianity or any other cosmology that has valid principles that serve life. The only difference with Desteni is the commitment to constantly self scrutinize and push self to be honest with oneself to ensure that this actually doesn’t happen, as we educate our selves to have a practical understanding of how the mind works in order to prevent this from happening, and hold a steadfast commitment to ourselves and life to persist. We work together and hold nothing as personal or sacred in terms of a moral ‘right and wrong’ – we assist and support each other and cross reference each other and do whatever is necessary to be effective in supporting each other – even if it means saying that which may be difficult for another to hear, within the principle of ‘tough love’.

 

I write about this point because I have had a bit of tough love myself, and found it extremely effective, as I understand how deceptive the mind is in, understanding that I am in fact my own worst enemy – and thus what may seem ‘tough’ about ‘tough love’ sometimes is merely how the mind perceives it.

 

Today, when working on a mind construct – which is extremely challenging because there is nothing programmed/habitual/pattern-based about it, you are walking mind constructs as the memories in your mind that influence you and limit you into patterned living, in real time – I saw the benefit of working in real time, in breaking out of habitual living, even if that habitual living seems just and righteous. It can be extremely difficult to break out at times, but the reward really is simply magnificent. I was having insights and old memories that I had long forgotten come up, I was having ‘aha!’ moments where I gained some deeper understanding into myself and my own mind, which is essentially the key to freeing me from the limitations of my mind, that really keep me enslaved. We tend to identify with our enslavement as something positive just because it becomes to habitual, we feel safe to live in ‘autopilot mode’ because we are taught that it is good and nice and to fear stepping beyond the boundaries of what we know as living life as a programmed robot.

 

But the reward of pushing ourselves beyond our perceived limits really are something that we can appreciate as we have never appreciated anything like it before, if we actually do it.

Day 330: Anticipating what I will find before I find it

 

Today is another day that I will be working on a mind construct – which is a tool I have learned through the Desteni I Process life coaching course, which enables me to deconstruct my mind, and thus understand and change the behavioral patterns/habits that I am living so that I can free myself from my own self-imposed limitations of fear and self-interest, and truly live the life I want to live, a life that is best for all.

 

I noticed an interesting point, which came up as a thought-projection in my own mind, upon the mere idea of working on my mind construct – that was the thought of ‘what I will find’.

 

Now what is so effective and unique about doing a mind construct is that it provides on with a method through which they can objectively investigate their own mind, which will in a way ‘take them out of observer mode’ – meaning that it will take away the opportunity for the mind to in any way skew or alter that which you are investigating and discovering about yourself as the mind. This is a crucial point as I learned a long time ago how the mind (or what we call ‘personality/character’) literally takes on a life of it’s own and thus will find all kinds of ways to further deceive, fool and ultimately permit you from exposing it, and therefore changing/removing it.

 

So the point of this post is simply to illustrate how important it is to find ways to help yourself, within the understanding and consideration of the point that ‘you are your own worst enemy’, and thus helping yourself becomes quite a paradox, unless you do find methods such as through which you can truly get an objective grasp on what is really going on with you. Using the support of others who are willing to assist and support you without judgment, as a form of cross-referencing, is another good example/useful way of doing this. One indicator of the effectiveness of doing mind constructs in giving oneself an objective view of their own mind is that as you work on a mind construct, you have no idea what you are going to get, and will often be surprised at what you find.

 

So the point here is to simply do the work and unconditionally investigate, letting go of the desire to control, letting go of the desire to skew the results and present the reality of yourself/your world in a particular way that suits only the self interest of the mind/ego. From this perspective, the mind of every human is like their own nation, complete with their own dictator and propaganda department, producing the disinformation that restricts us from ever learning the truth of ourselves. The use of tools like the mind construct or the support of a buddy to cross reference through programs like the Desteni I Process course would be like the advent of the internet which allows for the breaking down of borders to be shown another way, to be shown that there is more to ourselves and life than we may have not yet realized or understood otherwise.

Day 326: The value of ranting and raving

 

Tonight I began working on a ‘mind construct’ – this is a technique used to deconstruct the knowledge and information of the kind which comprises the beliefs, opinions, ideas and perceptions that exist in the mind which create what is referred to as the ‘mind consciousness system’ – here I am using specific terminology that I have learned through the Desteni I Process. It is a self help and life coaching course which teaches practical tools which one can use to deconstruct their own mind, to be able to life a life if clarity that is not directed and controlled by the mind as the mind has been created and programmed by us with the influence and taint of our society and culture. A ‘mind construct’ is an invaluable tool that allows one to look at themselves in a way that is not biased and takes real work here in the physical – no guessing games or spiritual tricks, it is real technical/mechanical stuff.

 

The first part of doing a mind construct is simply to rant and rave – to let the mind rant and rave about whatever the point is that one is facing. The purpose of this is to provide one with the real, candid stuff of the mind, which one can then use and utilize as the content that of the mind that will be worked with and deconstructed. This is the part of the mind construct I have worked on tonight.

 

As usual, the ranting and raving provided me with an initial sense of relief, of just being able to ‘speak my mind’ in a way where I am not suppressing myself or hiding from myself or fearing how I might be judged. It is rare in this world that we give ourselves moments in our lives where we can be truly open and candid. But one of the other reasons we do not do this is the fact that we fear what we will uncover and discover – because everyone knows the truth of themselves is not so nice.

 

But this fear of ranting and raving, this fear of facing ourselves only comes from a perspective of not knowing how to deal with it, not knowing how to change it – we fear that when we rant and rave, it will be from a starting point of believing in what we are ranting and raving about, and thus may be further influenced by that mentality if we rant and rave – therefore not having the self trust, self-assurance and fearlessness of knowing that whatever it is that we uncover/discover: we can correct it, we can change it. This is understandable – we are taught in every possible way to not focus on ourselves, to not be insightful, to focus only on the superficial and the world around us – and if one does happen to be insightful and want to investigate themselves deeper, we are certainly not given any tools with which we can correct and direct that which we uncover/discover within ourselves.

 

But this education now here, if one is looking for it, in the Desteni I Process, or even DIP Lite, which is completely free. There are those out there who have the know-how and the willingness to teach and support others because they themselves have made a commitment to themselves to support themselves and other to make this world a place that is best for all life. There is no more reason to run, to hide, to fear, to avoid, to suppress, to judge – the solution and the tools are here – we simply have to be willing to give those tools to ourselves, to give ourselves back to ourselves, to realize that – even if don’t know yet – there is something more to this life than what we have accepted and allowed – will we accept and allow ourselves to go further and dig deeper? That is a question that we owe it to ourselves to answer with great care and consideration.

Day 325: Standing in the mess-age as the message

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Human beings are really only as good as what they know: it is the knowledge that we operate and function on that determines what we will live and the choices we make. In this ‘age of information’, the temptation to live in ignorant bliss is the greatest it has ever been, because we as human beings are given no directive guidelines/principles within which we can direct ourselves with the knowledge and information that we take on and experience as our world/reality.

In fact, the very notion of self-direction is suppressed in virtually every way possible: and we are rather just subject to the information we experience and the world systems that function according to this information, teaching us 1 thing: that we are inferior, that we cannot direct ourselves and our reality, to give up on ourselves and just turn to entertainment and other petty preoccupations, that we can never have any real true freedom or happiness, that we are forever limited to the reality and information that we are presented with. And so, the desire to live in ignorant bliss is greater than ever, because in ignorant bliss, one can attempt to escape and get away from the knowledge and information that controls their mind and their life, that they have accepted as ‘the way things are’ in this reality. At every turn our reality is bombarding us with this information about ‘the way things are’ – it is in our commercials, on our TV, in our movies, magazines, newspapers, books, schools, from friends and families – all communicating 1 essential message: you are a slave, you can never change your reality, you must follow and be content with the content that is presented to you as your entertainment. Even our knowledge becomes as polarized as we are because our reading skills and ability to assess information become subject to the ‘good kinds of knowledge’ (entertainment) and the ‘bad kinds of knowledge’ (knowledge about our world/reality).

So as we are living in this age of information, with the internet and the widespread reach of information being like it has never been before on this earth, we are bombarded and there is more pressure to conform and give up than ever before – and yet it is in this bombardment that we are given the keys to our reality: when we decide to be self directive, when we decide that we will face this world as the information it throws at us, when we decide to take self responsibility in understanding that which we are faced with as our world and how we have come to create it – a new self is able to emerge from within it all, and this new self is able to create a new world in its image and likeness. As such, self is no longer required to feel subject to all that self is exposed to as the information of this reality that has influenced and controlled the way that self lives and exists – another way is possible where we exist within it all, yet we are no longer controlled, affected or directed by it all. It takes self honesty, it leads to self forgiveness, and inevitably self change, because when standing self honestly in the face of what this world has become – a playground for demons as those lost in delusion – we have no other recourse than to stand as the solution of what is best for all life. However, no said it would be easy.

The amount of deception and delusion that exists in this reality – which is dispensed at the level of knowledge/information – is extensive and surely this endeavor of standing within it all as the message of life that holds life in the highest regard above all knowledge/information as cultural brainwashing and deception, is an endeavor that will require steadfastness, strictness, humbleness, perseverance, self will, self forgiveness, self honesty, self will and self commitment – to no longer be influenced by the information that controls our lives through spoken words and written symbols, and to unconditionally stand as a beacon of stability as self trust in self honesty, only allowing self to live by and according to the principles which honor all life equally in the highest regard. They key in self honesty is to be forthcoming as the one who is equally and the utmost responsible for what we have created as this massive deception that exists on earth as the knowledge/information that we are conditioned by, identify ourselves by and live according to – I have committed the same sins, I have fallen just as my fellow man has and as the one responsible for creating this age we are living in, as one who finds themselves equally here as part of this mess-age, I stand as the message of life: that the knowledge and information that we live by that is in conflict with life and seeks to abuse and destroy life will no longer be allowed to have any power or control over myself as life – and as such I remain here as the breath of life, directing all that may require direction as my attention given as necessary to sort out the mess we have found ourselves in. This is a commitment that can not be fickle or fair-weather, but must be done in the face of all words that are thrown at us as the continued bombardment of the words/knowledge/information that seeks to enslave us and keep us trapped in patterns of the past, where we believe we are safe, but where the system always has you the most controlled.

Day 319: Self honesty as the starting point for practical action

 

That I am here in this moment is almost the only thing I can be certain of. Life seems to move so fast and the mind reacts so instantaneously and seemingly naturally that I miss so much of what prompts me to ‘speed up’ and move at a pace where I don’t always really pay attention to what I am doing, what I am saying. This is not to say that I shouldn’t act naturally, but that there are certain things which I see, that if I just gave myself a moment and didn’t give into my mind/fears so automatically, I could then give myself a chance to direct myself more effectively in a way that is less considered/walked: as breath.

 

When I am honest with myself I can see how I have been programmed to live a life of self-interest – the base mentality that we are all programmed with because as long as we all play and support this game, those who have massive advantages over the rest of us (by virtue of their birthright) will always win a game that we create and support by virtue of our allowance and participation in it. The outflow of this is that I am addicted to certain things in my reality that I experience as “I like doing this” because it gives me some kind of inner experience of nice feelings.

 

When I look at the basics of these addictions – greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy, pride – it is sufficient as a guideline to at least know what not to do, to know what not to participate in – it can just be difficult at times to fully apply myself in not participating in such habits, and also to remain consistent in doing so. And yet when I do, and stick to this basic guideline of not participating in my own selfishness, my own self interest: a whole new world opens up where I can actually live for real, where I can live in a way where my starting point and consideration is what is best for all live, including all as one as me – so essentially, addictions are the ‘food’ of the mind and ego – no matter how seemingly innocent they are or how we may justify them to ourselves.

 

When I look at my life, there is so much that I can convince myself is important and that I must obsess over, ‘or else apparently I will lose out, apparently I will not survive and thrive if I do not obsess over my own self interest, if I don’t live in constant fear of loss and defeat’. This is the mentality of my culture, my society: compete and win at all costs – fuck everything else, fuck life – we just don’t want to see it that way because we present our self interest and addictions as wonderful, fun, innocent – whatever. When I look at my life, apparently: my job is so important, my relationship is so important, the experience of feelings that I have defined as “love” is so important, whether or not others like me and how they think of me is important, whether I look good or not is so important, whether or not I have lots of money to buy things for myself is important, having lots of fun and great experiences is so important, my family and friends is so important, etc. etc. If this is so – and given that humans were created equal – what does this imply of all the billions of people who live only to suffer and have no chance of ever experiencing success and dignity in any of these points I have previously mentioned? Wouldn’t my priority as a responsible human being then be to work to ensure that all beings on earth are given the same opportunities and rights of those things that I obsess over and believe are so important for myself? It is going to require a great degree to humbleness to accomplish anything of real significance in this way, in this reality.

 

I have a tendency to over-think things, to procrastinate, to worry and wonder if I am ‘doing things right’ and ‘what is the best way to get this done’ – it is simple – self honesty – you just do it. Do away with all the shit in your life that you have falsely claimed is so important, ‘get a life’ and change your priorities – stop participating in the shit that only makes me feel nice but makes no real difference in the world as the world continues to plummet into hell. Self honesty is extremely simplistic and really just requires us to give up the things we fear and resist giving up.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give priority and value to my own self interest, which includes all of my addictions and activities that I participate in which make no real difference int his reality and just give me the illusion of happiness and fulfillment because they create feelings in me that are based in separation from life as they serve only ego and self interest, and I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to justify such actions as apparently being all in good fun and somehow being that which is best for all by making me happy first.

 

I commit myself to identify my priorities, what does not require attention and what does, based on the principle of participating in actions and doing whatever is necessary that will accumulatively, eventually and inevitably create a world that is best for all life and to no longer question or doubt or delay myself through over-thinking things and giving into the fearful thoughts and resistance of the mind, and rather act here as breath in self honesty as who I really am as life, where the mind is unable to deceive me by directing me with thoughts that are programmed to only serve self interest

 

Through directing ourselves as life, our example resonates, and its effect permeates reality like water, in a way that is beyond what we have always known: trying to control ourselves, others and our reality with the mind from a starting point of fear and self interest, as this will never produce a result as a world that is best for all life.

Day 317: The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

I hereby commit myself to live the following Principles:

1.       Realising and living my utmost potential

2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.       Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.    Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20.    Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.    The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.    The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

Day 277: Who we are as individuals – can we be saved?

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Interaction, cooperation and interconnectivity is intrinsic to human expression – without each other assisting and supporting each other as we direct ourselves in our world, we are much more limited than we would be when drawing on each others input. It is who we are. We cannot escape it, for as much as we would like to find reasons to deny each other and separate ourselves from life through a variety of self definitions as so-called ‘personalities’, we are nothing without each other.

And yet who is each one but an equal to another? Who is not an individual that consists of the whole? Each one of us has this point of individuality as our access point to our participation in the whole as the group of humanity and that group within the eco system and the rest of the universe – life. Each one stands within this point alone and cannot escape this one point but through death – to only then return as some other point! Whether in the form of human, animal, plant, dirt – whatever it is I’m not even sure is that important in the bigger picture because essentially one point just moves/transforms to another. This movement is also constant and an intrinsic, inescapable part of who we are as life. But what is the movement? Where do we go when we die? Do we determine that? In a way yes we do because we determine what the state of the earth and how beings on it may experience themselves will be in the future times to come. So our movement in this current life that we are living-out here in this moment is the movement that will determine the future movement of humanity as a whole.

If our movement is not effective, we will obviously bring onto ourselves a more difficult experience of ourselves in the times to come. What we seemed to have to done trap ourselves from actually moving froward as individuals and a species is to systematize the movement into a closed system called humanity or civiLIEzation that is a small minority closed group that dominates the earth without understanding and is thus a danger to the life that exist. We give these systems names according to their roles such as for instance ‘political system’ or ‘economic system’. We don’t exist within that system at all. Nope, because as mentioned, the systems are powered by us as individuals and thus if we as a species are trapped within our systems we have created to direct us it implies that we ourselves are driven by systems at an individual level – we internalize (internal lies, eternal lies) the system and live as the systems as we exist as them as our beliefs, thoughts, fears, emotions, opinions, feelings etc. Our experience of ourselves both within and without has become as just systems, that were not designed to be conducive to the forward development of ourselves as individuals and as a group, to develop any kind of real equality or change, to bring about any kind of real actualization of who we really are as beings on this earth as our intrinsic design implies.

Who is the doctor without the plumber? Who is the child without the parent? Who is the parent without the child? Who is the man without the woman? We define each other to the extent and that we define ourselves and our experience of ourselves and each other will reflect that. So what will the starting point of that self definition be?

We have unfortunately through illusions like ‘free choice’, money and the experience/perception of having power over others convinced ourselves that this reality is escapable, that we can deny who we are – but sooner or later, reality sets in. We cannot escape this aspect of our design and our self responsibility for self movement that is conducive to the living of the group as a whole, we cannot escape it anymore than our need to eat and sleep.

There is no escaping this reality and certainly there are no saviors. It is we at an individual level that will determine our fate and the outcome of humanity’s journey here on earth. It does not matter how success we may have within the current system and how well it bodes on us in our life, in terms of making money and friendships/bonds. It doesn’t matter if we have all the money in the world or people to take care of us. What matters is who we are and how we experience ourselves – and how others experiences themselves and this is again a reality that will set in because as we are beginning to see the consequences of just living lives of self interest where we are only concerned with our own well being and not our responsibility to ourselves as life as the individuals that contribute to the group as a whole. So while some of us may currently have a fair amount of control over their lives sufficient to make sure that they have a nice experience of themselves until they die – that is irrelevant in the bigger picture when you consider that the person absolutely loses control of what will become of them on the other side and how they will then eventually inevitably experience themselves. The only way we are able to have an input/effect onto the experience of ourselves as individuals that exist within the whole, is to decisively determine now who we will be and what we will do in this life, this very brief time that we have to have a difference with.

To only take care of this one life is foolish, to take care of only one life form is foolish, to take care of some lives and other lives is foolish. We have to know deep down how little control we have – and yet we can not deny that we have a place in this world, that we are here, that we exist, that we don’t want to die know if we have at least that choice – why would we want to be here, naturally?

Let’s stop the external illusions we use to abdicate our power and self responsibility in this world to have a better experience of ourselves and other where we do not live in such a constant state of fear due to our neglect of ourselves, and thus each other and life. We can only recognize others once we have recognized ourselves. We can first forgive ourselves for how we have abdicated ourselves with self corrective applications, and from this forgive each other through the stopping of who we were when we harmed each other and the certainty of ensuring that through our commitment to ourselves life that we will never harm again.

 

Day 271: Practicalities of self change – how do I change myself for real?

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Since school has started again, I have begun re-structuring my life since I have the added responsibility of school again, after about 2 weeks off. It is interesting the way I (and I’m sure many others) tend to treat work like it is something unhealthy, like some kind of horrible drain that we need to escape whenever possible, when often it is never the work itself but who we are and how we experience ourselves within ourselves that is such a drain on the body – all the thinking, the fears and anxieties that often go along with our work experiences, because after all work means money and money means survival, so work for many like myself becomes an intrinsically stressful thing, where we go into ‘work mode’. Then we also have the opposite polarity of ‘play time’ or ‘relax mode’ where we find ways to escape. The two points support each other and are two sides of the same coin – because in both cases, we are just experiencing ourselves energetically, so it is ironic that we try to escape the negative energetic work experience with the positive escape/play experience – they are both just energy. The problem is that we want just the positive experience and the more we give into that positive, the more we will resist the negative work experience, and yet it is an inevitability, and the more we chase the positive, the more intense the negative experience is going to be and the more difficult we will experience it. I mean it is essentially just throwing a tantrum because we are addicted to the positive energetic experiences we hold so dear, and thus resist giving them up to have to work.

I am constantly working with these points, in stopping the tendency to give into the positive energetic experiences that make living and working so difficult. Living and working is not in reality such a difficult thing, we just experience it that way, especially if our living/working really doesn’t contribute to anything meaningfully benevolent in our lives or in the world. There is a lot of resistance to giving up the positive and it takes time, especially when you have trusted such an experience for so long and as extensively as I have – and yet it is no excuse to not do everything possible to support myself to stop. I don”t mean that in a moralistic sense, I literally mean it does not excuse me from the consequences I am creating for myself, by trusting/giving into the positive energy of the mind. Positive thinking is a trap that makes us numb to reality as the world around us, and makes us cranky bitches when we don’t get what we want. We actually believe that such experiences are the answer. But they are just that – experiences – one might notice that their experience of happiness is always a fleeting thing, it is never constant and requires constant input and stimulation to be experienced, and the right kind of stimulation, and the right amount – just like a drug – and eventually you become numb to it and it isn’t enough and you need more, and more, and more…

But stopping this point, breathing, and through breath – directing myself to take on new endeavors, new tasks, new responsibilities, new learning experiences – I am beginning to see what it really means to live, and to live to my full potential.

I mean, I always wanted to have a great life, a perfect life, where everything works well and I am one and equal with all and everything is just as it should be – not shitty! And yet it is through my conditioning that I have been mislead: the pursuit of happiness as an fleeting energetic experience: that is not the key. The key, I am finding, is to push myself to live to my full potential as I mentioned before, but within a context that does consider others/the world around me as equal and one to myself – otherwise, what is the point of becoming a better person?

It is quite a cool experience because when you make this decision, to stop giving into the mind of positive energy/positive thinking, and actually live real positivity – that means living words/deeds that mathematically provide a certain outcome that is favorable – then all of a sudden, I find my fear and anxiety diminishes, by weaknesses that are birthed in my desires and vices begin to disappear, and all of a sudden living becomes interesting and purposeful – isn’t that what everybody would like? A life of real meaning and purpose, without a worry or fear, that functions effectively all the time without falter, where we are one with and equal to the world around us? Whereas when I give into my illusionary desires of wanting these positive energetic experiences that I’ve become addicted to, I begin to live with fear and anxiety because I know deep down who I am and what my starting point is and what I am really allowing. I become weak, nasty and reclusive, because I am harboring a secret agenda where the only thing on my agenda is living for me myself and I – nevermind everything and everyone else – they are just become tools in my eyes of how I can fulfill my self interest! That is why people use/abuse each other all the time and they don’t even see it. 

Putting this in practical application is really interesting and quite a journey where you figure out how to live for real, how to manage yourself in the physical reality effectively, with understanding and common sense. Currently I am finding it is important to breathe when desires come up, and to be practical about my ability to take on new activities/responsibilities, while not fooling myself with the excuses of “I can’t do it” or “I’m not ready yet”. These 2 points, of both stopping old patterns and being effective with new points go hand-in-hand: the more effectively I stop myself from repeating the old patterns/habits, the more clarity I have in structuring my new living/expression. If I am not stopping effectively, then I will tend to ‘get ahead of myself’ in my mind and project myself very ambitiously doing more than my physical body can actually handle – I notice this a lot. So, stopping old habits, breathing, and working with the body – making sure it is well taken care of, fed, rested – is key in establishing and creating a new self that can really live to my full potential and live a life of real value where over time I will be recognized for the fact that I have in fact stood for life with such resolve/absoluteness that others will see the trustworthiness of my consistency. The only thing stopping us from being the absolute best we can be, from having the absolute best experience of ourselves, is the belief that we are doing so already.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that over-ambition/impracticality of taking on new responsibilities and structuring my living stems from not stopping old habits, where I then project in my mind all the things that I will do, and that this will not work but rather I must breathe and stop all old habits, and be practical about what responsibilities are priority, and how to practically work with the body in accomplishing them.

I commit myself to – when and as I see myself projecting in my mind what I will do – I stop, I breathe, I realize that this is only a projection and that it is due to the fact that somewhere in my life, I am still giving into old habits/patterns , and to immediately stop and move myself as breath in taking on new responsibilities. Thus I do not give into these desires/projections as my thoughts/feelings/emotions/energy and I realize that I must also be patient with myself in stopping old habits and yet realize the importance of walking through and moving forward as if I continue to allow myself to give into desires, I will inevitably continue to create this experience of projecting myself as doing more than what is actually practically possible for my body in the physical reality

Day 260: Do we know how much we don’t know?

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In the last blog I gave an update to stopping a habit in my life that only serves to distract me from that which is real, that which is important and requires my attention. There are several points like this in my life and they preoccupy me primarily through my thoughts as my thought patterns, taking me away from reality into a fantasy world of distractions and preoccupations – one can call it them illusions because they are the things I give importance to which are not important in fact. With everyone essentially existing in this way: it is no wonder the world is so dysfunctional, why people are so ignorant and ineffective, not living to our full potential and making an absolute mess of this world.

I briefly mentioned how in stopping the habits as distractions/illusions, more time opens up, more opportunity opens up to in fact give life/my reality the attention that is required to actually work towards effecting a change. What I haven’t focused on as much, is the vastness of the amount of work that is necessary to be done, in terms of that which requires our attention in this reality, as the urgent necessity to sort out our world.

The degree to which we are existing in our habits that serve to distract us from our reality, as illusions that are based in our self interest, is always equal to the degree to which we are ignorant of what is really going on in our world – and have a look at how much the average person is preoccupied with and driven by their own self interest – virtually everything we do on a daily basis revolves around our self interest, virtually all of our priorities revolve around what will make us feel good. That is the weakness, as the fear of loss that creates desire, that allows for us to be so deaf dumb and blind, that we have practically no directive principle in life.

I was watching a documentary film tonight, called ‘Matrix of Power’ by Jordan Maxwell. He is a researcher of the occult – secret powers which he claims control the world and influence/direct human activity to serve the interests of a small few in the world. Of course, it is foolish to listen to any being as if their word is the gospel, but having seen first hand the extent of the deception that exist internalized within my own mind, much of what he claims really does not surprise me. If even half of what he says is true – it is quite amazing the degree to which we have no idea what is really going on in this world and the actual extent of evil that dominates this world. What is the role of ‘we the people’ within all of this – this point of self interested illusions that I have aforementioned. As long as things are fine and dandy within our own minds, because we are feeding ourselves constantly with the things that make us feel good, then we have given full permission to see the world in naïve, rose-colored lenses. It is hard to fathom such evil when your outlook on reality is influenced by the constant buzz of good feelings – because within such a point of mental intoxication – you are in fact living such evil, by contributing the evil that exist in this world through remaining deaf, dumb and blind. it is foolish to blame the elite or secret societies in this world as being the administers of the systems of control/enslavement in our world, as from a certain perspective even they are just sheep, living in fear of their fellow human being and just towing the line which they were born into. And this is not to mention that: if you or I were born into their shoes, we would have done the exact same things. What gives us the self righteous idea that we would not be equally tempted and corrupted by such power?

I was originally going to blog today on the point of fearing what others can do to you, the fear of others casing you harm – and yet in this last paragraph, I have addressed this point – the fear of what others may do to you is equal to what you have allowed to be done unto yourself/others through remaining ignorant and illusioned. We live within such a fear because there is a deep-seeded awareness that our ignorant bliss is a form of spite which through which we indirectly inflict harm onto others in this world by living so ignorantly and abdicating our self responsibility towards life. There is also the deep awareness that what goes around comes around. This is why, slowly but surely, more and more people are finding – to their apparent surprise, shock and dismay – their freedoms and rights being taken away – were they ever even freedoms and rights in the first place? Or was that just another self interested illusion of ‘freedom’ which we used to fool ourselves with to again, be able to remain within bubbles of self interest and never actually take responsibility for our lives?

I suggest to study Desteni – because this is the group that actually understands the vital part that the individual plays in their own enslavement and the enslavement of life on earth, and thus that the key to being effective to stop the systems of control/enslavement that exist is to first stop such systems within self, as stopping participation in our vices, habits, patterns and addictions that only serve to keep us deaf, dumb, blind, ignorant and ultimately slaves to our own mind.

Day 254: Determination

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  1. The quality of being determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose

  2. A position, opinion or judgment reached after consideration

  3. Deciding or controlling something’s outcome or nature

  4. The act of making up your mind about something

All of these definitions I have found on the word are useful to be understood, applied and lived. In this process, every moment is a challenge to make the decision to not participate in old habits/patterns. What is an even greater challenge is to create oneself anew through living-in new applications, new habits, new decisions about who I am going to be and what I am going to do. Through making decisions, and fully living them in practical applications with determination, I determine who I will be and what my future/consequences of how I have lived will be. This is something that is crucial to assess about everything that we do and participate in within our lives.

I have made up my mind to do this process, and yet in every moment I am faced with the challenge of determining who I am and what I do and who I will be. There are moments where I feel clouded and lost, because I am still stuck in past patterns of thoughts/living habits, and I find it important to in the moment stop and assess: what am I doing? What are my priorities, according to all that I require to do to live the life I really want to live? What is important? What will I do and how long will I do it for? How long does it make sense to do it for, and in what way does it make sense to do it? 

There are just too many distractions in this world, too many triggers that can lead to this falling into old habits, no matter how benign they seem to be – and before I know it, I have lost time, precious time. To live with determination in my self application is the key to stopping such habits, and really being strict and honest with myself about what I am allowing and how I am living. Is what I am living what I really want to live ideally, as that which is best for all life? I determine that, in every moment.

Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to use the tools available like breathing and writing to stop and assess and determine what is necessary to be done, what is priority and how it is to be done – I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to determine specifically what is important and to be prioritized and accomplished, through self honest self assessment and breathing through the resistance of walking a new path of determination

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by entertainment and activities that take my attention away and weaken my resolve and determination, and to use justifications of such actions as being benign or harmless when in fact they are hindering my determination and the future that I am determining for myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my mind as old habits/patterns/desires to determine who I am and what I will do 

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to determine who I am going to be and how I am going to live in absolute specificity as self honesty

I commit myself to determine what I will do, how I will live and who I will be through self honest assessment and the utilization of tools such as breathing, writing or even speaking aloud if necessary

When and as I see myself resisting the opportunity to assess and determine what is priority, what I will do and who I will be – I stop, I breathe, I see that I am sabotaging myself through temptations and self interest as the desire to fall back into old habits/patterns which determine for me a bleak future – and thus I do not participate in such temptations as they arise as my thoughts/feelings/emotions/energy, I commit myself to move through this resistance with determination as self here in breath

I commit myself to live my life and apply myself in process with determination in every moment, as a simple self honest assessment and self movement in the moment to determine what I will do and who I will be, creating self trust within myself as the certainty of the outcome being determined as that which I would like to be, as equal and one