Tag Archives: conditioning

Day 326: The value of ranting and raving


Tonight I began working on a ‘mind construct’ – this is a technique used to deconstruct the knowledge and information of the kind which comprises the beliefs, opinions, ideas and perceptions that exist in the mind which create what is referred to as the ‘mind consciousness system’ – here I am using specific terminology that I have learned through the Desteni I Process. It is a self help and life coaching course which teaches practical tools which one can use to deconstruct their own mind, to be able to life a life if clarity that is not directed and controlled by the mind as the mind has been created and programmed by us with the influence and taint of our society and culture. A ‘mind construct’ is an invaluable tool that allows one to look at themselves in a way that is not biased and takes real work here in the physical – no guessing games or spiritual tricks, it is real technical/mechanical stuff.


The first part of doing a mind construct is simply to rant and rave – to let the mind rant and rave about whatever the point is that one is facing. The purpose of this is to provide one with the real, candid stuff of the mind, which one can then use and utilize as the content that of the mind that will be worked with and deconstructed. This is the part of the mind construct I have worked on tonight.


As usual, the ranting and raving provided me with an initial sense of relief, of just being able to ‘speak my mind’ in a way where I am not suppressing myself or hiding from myself or fearing how I might be judged. It is rare in this world that we give ourselves moments in our lives where we can be truly open and candid. But one of the other reasons we do not do this is the fact that we fear what we will uncover and discover – because everyone knows the truth of themselves is not so nice.


But this fear of ranting and raving, this fear of facing ourselves only comes from a perspective of not knowing how to deal with it, not knowing how to change it – we fear that when we rant and rave, it will be from a starting point of believing in what we are ranting and raving about, and thus may be further influenced by that mentality if we rant and rave – therefore not having the self trust, self-assurance and fearlessness of knowing that whatever it is that we uncover/discover: we can correct it, we can change it. This is understandable – we are taught in every possible way to not focus on ourselves, to not be insightful, to focus only on the superficial and the world around us – and if one does happen to be insightful and want to investigate themselves deeper, we are certainly not given any tools with which we can correct and direct that which we uncover/discover within ourselves.


But this education now here, if one is looking for it, in the Desteni I Process, or even DIP Lite, which is completely free. There are those out there who have the know-how and the willingness to teach and support others because they themselves have made a commitment to themselves to support themselves and other to make this world a place that is best for all life. There is no more reason to run, to hide, to fear, to avoid, to suppress, to judge – the solution and the tools are here – we simply have to be willing to give those tools to ourselves, to give ourselves back to ourselves, to realize that – even if don’t know yet – there is something more to this life than what we have accepted and allowed – will we accept and allow ourselves to go further and dig deeper? That is a question that we owe it to ourselves to answer with great care and consideration.

Day 263: The desire to act as reACTions



For a long time in my life I have had tendency to be reactive, I mean, this generally describes most people, but in my case I use the expression ‘jump the gun’ – because it is the kind of thing that we call ‘taking initiative’ or ‘acting first’ or ‘act quickly’ – it is based on competitive conditioning and based on the notion that if I am the first to act, the first to get there, the first to do the right thing, the first to have the answer – if I am first and I act now, I will be the winner apparently. Within the context of our currently world system, this is unfortunately true in many cases, however, these systems are busy collapsing and they simply don’t work any more, which is why I am looking at this point and recognize that it requires to be addressed and stopped. It comes from the kind of conditioning we get in for instance school when children are stimulated to want to be the first one to raise their hand and give the correct answer to the teacher. 

Of course this point of wanting to be first and win is based on the fear of loss, and when I look at examples of how this point arises in my daily experiences as my thoughts, the fear of loss as motivation becomes evident. It came up today (and has come up a few other times recently, as thoughts do tend to be patterned) as the fear that another person would not understand something that is crucial to understand – that they would not ‘get it’, and as a result this would apparently not be good for them. This is a form of mental projection as it is in fact me that perceives them ‘not figuring it out’ to be bad for me, through projecting some ideal that others must understand that which matters to me – as if I am looking for agreement in some worldview – what is the point of this? If I were really about supporting others, I would stop this fear within myself – in fact I would only focus on myself and stopping all fears within myself so that I can stand as the living example for others – whether they take to it or not and realize a point of self responsibility or not should not dictate who I am and my own process – and ultimately, if I am really standing absolutely, then it would be a certainty that inevitably – all will understand, all will ‘get it’, because my standing is so absolute that I will stand as the example eternally, for as long as required to support life as myself.

So, within this point of reacting/initiating/taking immediate action, I see now that I have equated/associated talking/action with ‘making a difference for the better’, in a kind of what where it is like more is better, faster is better than slower – this is how this fear as the desire to act/react is justified. But it is fascinating, because I have noticed for instance that sometimes I have spoken a lot, too much, and spoken more and more, and even got to the point of repeating myself – and yet no impact is made in the lives of others. Conversely, I have seen times where I have remained silence when no speaking/action is necessary as it would simply not be effective at particular times, and then when I do speak when it is appropriate, it may take only a few simple words to very effectively assist, support and direct another. 

I can see that we as a society to tend to talk – a lot – and get nothing done. Nothing really changes. It looks lively, it is very stimulating, it can be exciting and entertaining – but is it real, in terms of actually making real progress, in terms of really experiencing and expressing ourselves?

So I have copied this behavior and often times it is this behavior that stimulates me to just copycat – there is that pressure sometimes (which I really place on myself) to respond, like I must respond, I must validate this person and all they have talked about which reflects what they believe and how they think – or else maybe they won’t like me so much, maybe I won’t get favoritism from them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that more is better than less, that faster is better than slower, within the desire to act quickly/react/initiate, based within the fear of loss and the belief that if I am not the first to act and act quickly and act a lot, then I will apparently lose – I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project this fear of loss onto others as the fear of them losing, not seeing, realizing and understanding that my fear of others losing/not finding their way is actually a projection of myself because I am not standing absolutely and from this perspective I am creating this scenario by not standing and thus ensuring that neither of us will self realize/find our way

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to simply copy and mimic others as the act of speaking a lot and making a lot of commotion/energy/interaction/stimulation, only because I fear how others will react if I do not and that I will disappoint them or that they will see me as not valuable or not contributing – I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always believe that acting/reacting/talking is always the solution and always going to make a difference

I commit myself to stop the tendency to react and want to speak and say the right things and to justify such desires with the fear of loss as the belief that I must act and help others, as I see, realize and understand that such a reaction is a projection of myself within the awareness that I must stand for/as myself

When and as I see myself talking a lot/having the desire arise to talk/react/act quickly/say a lot – I stop, I breathe, I see, realize and understand that this behavior as reaction is not effective as it is based in fear if loss and copying others and thus it is not directive, and thus I assess immediately in he moment if speaking/acting is in fact effective or if I am just doing it out of fear as a desire to appease others and pacify my own fears – and thus when I see myself reacting, I do not participate in these reactions/the desire to react as it arises in actions, words, thoughts, and energy

Day 255: Who are we living for?


So I am currently studying for my exams at University, and busier than normal every day. I noticed how diligently I had been working and how effective I was able to be with my work, by remaining diligent and putting in the time, focus and concentration. Yet something bizarre also occurred to me – why am I not always this diligent? What could be accomplished and what would my life be like if I was always such a hard worker? And more importantly, what are my motivations and priorities in life that determine whether or not I am a hard, diligent worker?

And of course it was plain to see that the reason I become so diligent and hard working is that this is something that indirectly relates to my survival – it is something I am doing for me, that benefits me. Granted, I would probably not be in University, as part of an overall effort to better myself, if it were not for what I had learned about self honesty, equality and oneness from the Desteni material, as I realized the importance of improving myself so that I could be more effective in making this world a better place – but more directly, this is of personal benefit. I notice the same thing when it comes to work and making money – all the effort and determination is there, because I see a direct benefit. 

‘No man is an island’, and yet we are conditioned in such a way where we are only focused within a limited perception of seeing the direct benefit of something to ourselves – our education of how this physical reality actually functions within a principle of oneness/equality is so poor, that we never see the greater outflows of our decisions, actions, and the greater context of life within which we make them. We don’t see the importance of living within such a context. This affects everything we place importance and value on.

We’re always ready to work hard or fight hard or do whatever it takes so that we have take care of ourselves and have the lives we want to live, or maybe for those around us who we value and consider as loved ones, or those we associate with in our own minds through associative cults like nationalism, religion etc. – but to act within consideration of anyone outside of those circles, well, it just doesn’t happen.

I will work, fight, be diligent for myself or my loved ones – why do I not work diligently in support of all life as one? It is simply not in my programming. I mean look at what typically happens when it is proposed that one live in a way that is ‘best for all life’ – and we have seen this a lot within the Desteni group – there is simply no response, I mean it isn’t even on the radar – or sometimes worse, people will actually try to demonize and slander such a proposition.

We should ask ourselves every single day, why are we not making tis world a place that is best for all life? Are we actually taking the most effective course of action to ensure that this world gets sorted out, or are we kidding ourselves that what we are doing is ‘good’ – finding and working towards pseudo solutions that do not in fact get to the core of the problem we are facing as a whole here on earth, but instead just make us feel good about ourselves because they relate back to our own identities in some way? If we actually lived and worked within the self honest and realistic consideration of what others as our equals/life are currently experiencing, as if it were ourselves or our loved ones – we’d be working our asses off in every moment trying to make a difference, because that is how bad of a condition our world is in, that is how extensive the amount of work there is to be done – it would take our entire lifetimes dedication.

I mean, how fucked is it that we cry for those who undergo injustice or suffer or die, when they are ‘close to us’ or ‘family’, while millions starve to death and experience lives that are beyond horrific, and we can just feel nothing? How does this not haunt us in our every waking moment? It should. I mean, do we even know what a ‘family’ is? The human race is a family. The earth is a family. The universe is a family – how dumbed down and limited are we? Some serious deprogramming is going to be necessary here, and some real self forgiveness is going to be required as we finally begin to understand how we have spited, neglected and disregarded life, how we did nothing when millions who endure absolute horror wished someone would come and no one came, while we obsessively pursued our own happiness, living in a bubble in our own minds. And if we don’t learn – well, all bubbles burst eventually.