For the most part, I have lived quite a comfortable life, especially when compared to how most people in the world live. Despite this however, there has always been an experience of discomfort within myself, fears, anxieties, nervousness, and all kinds of other emotions that have taken me away from the real comforts that I do have. There has always kind of been this inner feeling/experience like ‘something is not right’, something I can’t ‘put my finger on’, but something is wrong. This could be especially prevalent in experiences where I was enjoying my comfortable life a little too much, when my inner experiences would turn out to be quite positive, and yet those positive experiences would always be fleeting and always inevitably return to the negative, to the point where I had become almost kind of weary of allowing myself to enter such positive mental experiences.
What does it all mean?
It wasn’t until later on in life that I realized my place in the world system and how abusive the world system actually is. That my comforts were a part of a system where they were dependent on the tremendous amount of abuse that was inherent to take place within such a system – a system where the many suffer while a few life in comfort or extreme excess of abundance – and in ignorance.
And it is that last part that is why i experienced the mental discomfort. Because, there is not necessarily anything wrong with physical comfort, but not knowing how and why that existed for me, coupled by an illusory search for ‘more’ – ‘searching for happiness in all the wrong place’ – this was why things never seemed right to me. A life of comfort was in fact superimposed by a life of greed. Greed is when that simple, practical comfort is not enough, and one becomes oriented with finding something ‘more’, some other ‘higher’ form of happiness. In a way this is a very clever self deception because it replaced the search of ‘there must be something more that explains my life, why it is the way it is’, with an idea the search for the bigger answers in life could be found in completely selfish pursuits.
It is fascinating because when you do find out how the world really works and the dire situation that our world is in, one certainly cannot feel very proud to be a part of it. The only decent response to such circumstances would be to use such good fortune as support to make a difference in the world, in the way that things work to rectify the situation. When that is not an option, when we are not taught to live for the betterment of all, when we are not given that very real purpose, it is common sense that we cannot be very satisfied with ourselves as beings, and so it is no wonder this search for the fulfillment of ‘something more’ is so endless and insatiable when it is so misguided.
Our education in this world – and here I am not just talking about our schools, but also the parents, families, communities, cultures, nations, media – simply to not teach goodness and virtue and purpose within the proper contextual understanding – that we are all in fact one and equal – and so, we do not learn to live for the betterment of both ourselves and the world around us equally. It is no wonder we become what we are, so misguided, distracted, illusioned, deluded, cold, angry, sad, spiteful, dissatisfied, complacent, apathetic, deceptive, fearful….the list goes on.
We are cut off from the source from which we come and thus for whom we ought to serve – that source is life. Such a short, simple 4 letter word that we have yet to learn the meaning of. Time to get back to basics, time to go back to school.