So after being on yet again another experience of ‘going it alone’ in my life, in terms of building a comfortable and successful life for myself, you know, working, making a home, all that stuff, I have come to learn a few things about what really matters in life, mostly learning the hard way. It seems that because I’m already stubborn enough that I tend to learn then hard way, it is no wonder that even after a hard lesson, I can easily ‘forget’ what I’ve learned and like any new way of life that is learned, sometimes it is easy to forget what I have learned and really, fully learn from it, in terms of implementing that lesson into my life and the way I live completely, permeating all through every aspect of my life and the way I live.
One thing I have learned is to put my body ahead of my job/work – or anything else for that matter. There is a tendency to sacrifice ourselves for our jobs and the money that they bring. It is as though we are looking past the long term to the short term, because while one’s health may be bad in the short term, money pays the bills and brings long term security, apparently.
It should be obvious that this makes no sense and that a job is never worth compromising one’s health – and yet I still have times where I recognize that I may need to rest and take care of my health, while I’m still busy worrying about my work being upset with me or having problems maintaining my employment – such fears are mostly based on past experiences where, as an employee, I was treated as expendable. A recent chapter from a book by Zig Ziglar sold me on my own body, about how valuable our bodies actually are and how to compromise our bodies for any amount of money is the most foolish thing one could do.
Another point for myself to review is the trap of morality. It is amazing the degree to which I’ve let false morality fuck with my life. Morality, for the most part, is a lie used by those with no actual morality to keep other in line. This can also be applied within the aforementioned example of compromising oneself for a job – morality is used extensively in the work force and attached to ‘work ethic’ because apparently, the work force/economy is a noble and respectable thing. Ha. Only fools who have never done business for themselves could believe such a thing.
Any lie can be sold to us to have us conform and become subservient to serve special interests of those who know how to play and control this game – and it is very well controlled. It is no wonder it would go as far as brainwashing us to the point where we would compromise our own health and well being – both physical and mental – for a job.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not put my own physical body above all things as my physical body has the most value of anything as it is what supports me to do all else – I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use fear of survival as a way to not put my physical body first and to defend this fear of survival with morality. I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that morality as I know it is complete bullshit.
I commit myself to no longer put anything else before my own physical/mental health and wellbeing, and I commit myself to stop using morality to deceiving myself into doing this as a justification of what is apparently right