Day 311: Re-defining ignorance, part 2

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to utilize ignorance as a way of escaping my reality and fulfilling self interest within the notion that ‘ignorance is bliss’, wherein if I just ignore my reality and remain uneducated while preoccupying myself with entertainment and useless distractions, I believe that my life and experience of myself will somehow be better, and within this I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give ignorance a positive charge

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use ignoring people as a weapon within an energetic experience of spitefulness wherein I use ignoring someone as a way of saying ‘fuck’ – within this I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to stop and realize that I am in fact reacting towards another and that this is only out of fear of what another can do to me which is in fact just the fear of myself as how I exist within my own thoughts about others – thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that is in fact impossible from a certain perspective as I require to interact with others in order to exist and co-exist and that ignoring others is not the answer as that which is bothering me which I fear is not others in fact by my own thoughts, feelings and emotions and thus it is pointless to ignore others when in fact I am the creator of my experience and it is my thoughts which disturb me – not others – thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore others within/as a point of blame and as a way of not having to face myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and ignore my own thoughts by focusing on others and then trying to ignore others – not seeing and realizing that the only thing that is necessary to ignore is the desire to give into my own reactions/thoughts and that this is the only way that ignoring can ever be valid: ignoring the desire to ignore others and react/give into my thoughts/feelings/emotions as this is useless and not self directive

I commit myself to take self responsibility for my own thought and to not ignore them and remain ignorant to the truth of myself as my own reactions as thoughts/feelings/emotions – and within this, I commit myself to stop the tendency to ignore others as a way of believing my inner reactions to be real and believing that others are the problem, and thus the tendency to want to ignore others as a way of being spiteful/saying ‘fuck you’

when and as I see myself wanting/desiring to ignore others/my reality – I stop, I breathe, I see, realize and understand that what I am reacting to is in fact my own fears as my thoughts/feelings emotions that may only present themselves as being about others when they are in fact about me and how I am existing and that the only solution here is to direct my attention to my own reactions and forgive/correct them, by investigating what was the reaction, what was it’s nature and what is it showing me about me, which holds the key to correcting such a point and no longer fearing others/creating the desire to ignore others – thus I take self responsibility for who I am and do not give into the desire to ignore others within blame, as this desire arises as my thoughts/feelings/emotions

I commit myself to remain here and face my thoughts and stop all tendencies to ignore my thoughts and my inner and outer reality – I remain here within the understanding that I am the directive principle/creator of how I experience myself and thus I am able to direct myself as I would like accordingly always as long as I remain here, aware, facing myself and all that is here without fear of myself, projected as the fear of others