Day 309: Re-defining ignorance, part 1

 

 

Like all living words, when lived and applied in a way that is best for all life, any word can have it’s usefulness. Here I would like to look at the word ignore/ignorance.

 

In the past I had used it as a defense mechanism, both passive and passive-aggressive – and so this word was useless and quite destructive to my life. ‘Passive’, meaning to simply ignore the things that matter, so that I can just remain in self interest and focus only on what I believe pleases me. To remain dumb and uneducated, unaware and disconnected, believing that this somehow serves me. The ‘passive-aggressive’ side of ignorance is more of an act in situations where I may observe something that troubles me, that I don’t like, that I react to, and within this, go into an expression of spitefulness as ignoring the person or thing that I observe/experience this way – a way of saying ‘fuck you’ without actually saying it – basically abandoning something. I had done this because I feared that which I observed and within fearing it, judged it and defined it/the person as being that which I observed, believing that this is all it/the person will ever be, and thus the ‘fight or flight’ system is engaged, fight and flight essentially being one and the same through the act of saying ‘fuck you’ by ignoring.

 

So the point is to never abandon a person and ex-communicate, and even hold a grudge, as people so often do when there are hard times and conflict or traumatic experiences. And yet, there are moments where the best way to support an individual s to leave them to their own devices for a moment – but with the faith that if I stand absolute in equality to this person and do not judge, that I will remain here, stable and constant in my standing with open arms, the person will inevitably eventually come to a point of understanding/realization, and our time will finally come to coexist and share the gift that we both are as life.

 

This is a massive point, I deal with it a lot in my interpersonal relationships and realize that this extends to pretty much all my relationships in my life. We are all in different points of understanding in our process, we resist change, we are stuck in habits that are, quite frankly destructive and evil – and yet this is just illusion from the perspective of the fact that we are simply lost, we are brainwashed, it is not who we really are as life. All illusions end eventually.

 

In fear and judgment of what we have become, the tendency is to want to try and control – but that tendency is only birthed from a fear we have created of ourselves within the awareness that our own standing, self forgiveness and self corrective application are not absolute. The fear can be strong, because of course there is some pretty wicked shit out there that we observe people living out. We sometimes call this attempt at controlling others/that which we observe in the outside world ‘love’ or ‘caring’ – but that is a self righteous excuse to continue this pattern of judgment, fear and control, which is in effect, useless and just keeps the cycle going. The hardest thing to do is to focus on self absolutely and stand so absolutely that nothing in our exterior world will shake us from our foundation of life.

 

After writing this last paragraph, I stepped away from my computer for a moment and realized something about the last paragraph that I wrote is actually pertains to a side effect, of what I realized is the main point in fact: living the word ‘ignore’ in a way that is real is more with regard to this overall tendency to react that I have mentioned – when thoughts in the mind that are judgmental, reactionary and fearful arise. And here I am not saying: ignorance is bliss. Hell no. All thoughts and inner experiences that we have require attention, they are here, they influence us, we can not deny them and to ignore their existence in the traditional sense (the ‘passive ignoring’ I mentioned) is foolish. Rather, to ignore effectively would be to simply recognize such inner experiences for what they are, and to not act on them and giving into the temptation to follow them, no matter how strong the fear or self doubt may appear. It would be to step back for a moment, breathe, and give ourselves the ‘breathing room’ that will only then enable us to begin to look at these experiences more effectively, deconstruct them and direct ourselves effectively. This takes practices, because it is like we are addicted to our minds/fears, the trust in our own illusions runs deep.

 

I will continue to practical self forgiveness and self corrective statement sin the next blog.

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