Today I was observing some classmates interact. There are 4 classmates of mine, 2 of which are male, 2 of which are female, who I often see interact and I noticed 2 particular instances that I might of normally not noticed if it were not for having started to learn about equality (and gender inequality) through studying the Desteni material. I have been so accustomed to playing the role of being a typical straight male in the western world, that there is so much that I took for granted and just saw as normal – I mean I never even noticed or questioned.
The first observation was one of the guys teasing one of the girls. I don’t even know what it was about, but it was fascinating to see from a distance as the body language was put into focus. It was clearly observable who was teasing who, and the degree of passivity expressed by the female, the degree of ‘no fight back’ and the tendency to just sort of accept the whole thing. I’m not saying that fighting back is the answer, I merely observed this dynamic and realized that I never see the same thing, roles reversed, with females being more outspoken and aggressive, and males just kind of shying away from the imposition and passively playing along with it.
The second observation was when one of the guys put his book down, he perched it on top of the head of one of the girls – and she just sat there with the book on her head – same kind of passive acceptance – until he picked it up off her head again. Now maybe this is just my big ego talking, but I wouldn’t of put up with that shit…unless the girl was pretty enough…that was a joke which illustrates my point.
I noticed that males tend to assume a lot about their behavior and what boundaries are acceptable or not. That males, in some ways, tend to think we can get away with more. I notice an intrinsic tendency to treat females as weaker or more submissive, as if they naturally actually are that passive – this can’t be true because no gender is born with a specific kind of personality, and there is a MASSIVE history of relationship dynamics between men and women – using and abusing each other – that has shaped the way we design our personalities according to our gender.
It is like the whole point with younger people, like teenagers, where when a guy picks on a girl, a common explanation is that ‘it is because he likes you’ – ever heard that one before?
Yes perhaps a the man does like the woman in such cases – but not for the right reasons – they ‘like’ them simply because they have found a person who fits the mold of what the believe they want and this often involves finding someone who is passive and weak enough that the man can have some degree of perceived power and control over them.
I did it.
And I know that I am no exception. But here again is the problem which is that this program is so prevalent that it is one of the base programs of the matrix that we often never even come to question. I’m sure that many men are not even aware that they do this, just as I was not. As men, we have to question our desires and what they really stem from – this is why for instance men cannot just approach women and speak to them directly, they just play all kinds of games instead. I used to be so enthralled/possessed by the image of ‘beautiful women’ that this was all nearly impossible for me to question, and I merely thought my issue with women was purely about lust – when really that lust is just about the addiction to the energetic experience of perceived power over another – the visual image of the woman is just symbolic of one who is also playing the game themselves, they are making it clear that they are ‘game’ or ‘fair game’, and that is why we get so excited by this look, at a more subconscious level.
We as men are going to need to give up our desire to have power and control over another in order to feel some better about ourselves and look at how and why we have created this desire in the first place. For women, I would suggest to stop using the point of being an object to be desired as if there is some kind of power in it – there is none – both sides are fools and slaves in such a game. I have heard many women say that they focus on their looks ‘for them’ and not for others – that is simply not so.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to have power and control over another to have an experience where I fell better about myself, not seeing, realizing or understanding how I have abandoned myself and not given myself the self love, self support and responsibility to live to my fullest and be the best that I can be, which is what created this desire to control others in the first place.
When and as I see myself trying to have power/control over others in relationships – I stop, I breathe, I realize that this desire is based in a lack of understanding of the problem and an attempt to fix a problem without understanding – thus within breath I see, realize and remember that I am the directive principle and thus to have a better experience of myself, I must live myself to the fullest and stop concerning myself with what others are doing in order to have some kind of power/sway over them.