Day 47: Staying up late

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to stay up late simply because I am addicted to energy and want to continue feeding my mind this energy through all sorts of forms of entertainment and stimulation and that I have also found the night time as a good opportunity within which to do this because no one is around to see me or disturb me in my pursuit of energy as stimulation and it is easier to hide and be private and not be challenged or questioned about my pursuit of energy as stimulation

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined staying up late as ‘bad’ as simply being the polarity opposite projection of how I have already accepted and allowed myself to have defined staying up late as good without realizing it as the mind is in control when I am hooked on the pursuit of energy that drives me to stay up late

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to ‘get up early’ and live a ‘normal’ hourly schedule by being awake in the day time as I have used this as the definition of what is good as the polar opposite to staying up late apparently being based which I have only accepted as a societal definition which I would aspire to in moral sentiment but never really live as I have already placed this as superior to me by allowing myself to feel inferior for my staying up late

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the desire to stay up late is created when I accept and allow myself to have an inactive, unproductive day where there is no real self movement and self direction within the self directive principle of what is best for all life, where I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully live myself and make use of the gift of life that I have been given by living to my full potential, and will thus stay up late as an act of waiting and wishing for something more, as if I fear going to sleep as if I fear giving up my life as my consciousness because I exist and fear and inferiority within the awareness that I did not live a full life

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear staying up late or getting up early and resist going to sleep late or getting up early as fearing the patterns I have accepted and allowed by doing nothing to practically change them – but instead just watched the clock within my fear as time passes by and I do nothing to direct myself and that this is why I have reactions when I look to the clock that is ticking away until my death

 

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment and live my life to my full potential as living a life that is best for all, so that I no longer am left staying up late, wanting and hoping and waiting for something better to come

 

I commit myself to stop feeding the mind with energy to the point where my mind as consciousness refuses to go to sleep because it does not want to give up this energetic experience and fear losing it

 

I commit myself to give up all definitions associated with sleep and being awake with regards to time as apparently sleeping or being awake at certain times is good and certain other times is bad

 

I commit myself to recognize and stop the desire of the ego to remain addicted to energy as the resistance to going to sleep and all justifications/excuses it may use to deceive me from not directing myself in sleeping and maintaining a sleep schedule that is based in self honesty and self directive principle as what is best for all life

 

I commit myself to no longer be a slave to time and patterns by making the most of ALL time unconditional of the clock by using all time to live a fulfilled like that is best for all

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