Day 36: Hope

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to trap myself within hope as a trap for myself to ultimately enslave myself to my desires that exist within self delusion

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to see how I have lived/existed within a state of hope and that I have deceptively trapped myself within this hope as the feeling of hope carries with it a positive energetic charge

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to see that hope is a trap as ‘hoping for the best’ actually exist within the context of what I desire as ‘the perfect’ life that I have designed for myself that I believe I will be satisfied with when in fact this is an illusion as this ‘perfect life design’ was created in self interest and do not consider all other life equally and thus can in no way real by simple virtue of the fact that I cannot truly be happy in a world where life suffers because that would imply that I am not life/real

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to hope to achieve the ‘perfect life’ which is in fact just a design based on the desire of the mind to always continuously have energy to feed off of

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to not see that hope and desire are intertwined

 

I forgive myself that hope is in fact negative as I hope for the positive which I desire yet if I do not attain that which I desire/have defined as positive, I will become negative once again, reverting back to/exposing my true nature from which this positivity/hope is designed

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to see the self delusion/self deception that hope is based in as within hope I am hoping/waiting/wishing for my own self abuse through playing a game of chance as if life were a casino where I may win the jackpot – not realizing that this winning had only been determined by my mind as self interest which exist in separation to the physical body and require to feed off the physical and thus abuse the physical to be able to exist and thus what I am actually hoping/wishing/waiting for is the opportunity/chance that my mind may be fed energy which is in fact accepting and allowing abuse unto the physical

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to hope that my dream of a ‘perfect life’ come true including: the hope of finding a ‘beautiful’ woman for sex to feed the mind energy, the hope of becoming rich so that I may attain all that I desire as sensory pleasures as energetic experiences that feed the mind, the hope that I may have the perfect career/status in society so that I may live like a king and feed my mind energy through sensory pleasures, the hope that I will be entertained and have fun as experiences/things that excite my mind and create within it from the friction of that which I am experiencing, energy to feed the mind so that I may continue to further be stuck and enslaved in the illusion of the mind

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to create a version of hope as desire that only include that which I desire for myself as mind/ego and within that disregard all other life completely

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to deceive myself with the hope of a better life through believing that having a better life is a game of chance that I must play and do everything to increase my odds of winning, not realizing that to create a better life requires no hope/fait but only practical actions here in the physical that consider all life equally and thus can mathematically be equated to create a better life as a world that is best for all

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to see that hope is an act of religion as having faith in god as my mind and the mind consciousness system where the mind design a life with desires, dreams and hopes that do not understand/consider life and thus have no real way/understanding of creating such a life but to hope and have faith and try to ‘do my best’ to increase the odds of these dreams coming true and hoping to god as the illusory reality of the mind that somehow these dreams will come to fruition despite all the evidence of how life do not operate this way and all the dissatisfaction, negativity, and fear that I experience within existing this way

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to that hope is based in fear as I exist within an awareness that I have abandoned myself to the chance of the casino that is the workings of the mind which is sure to create disaster in some unexpected way and hope is simply a creation of mine to cover up this fear with positivity and that that is why hope always exist for some kind of a fantasy/dream life design/envisionment

 

I commit myself to stop trapping myself in hope and see how in my daily life I am living hope as an act of waiting/taking chances that my desires may play out and be fulfilled

 

I commit myself to expose hope as a trap of enslavement to mind consciousness system designs of life that are only based in desire and fear, and not in consideration of what is best for all life

 

I commit myself to stop placing faith and trust in the mind as god through the act of hope and existing in hope and I commit myself to see and realize that such hope will always trap me in the world of desires so that I do nothing to act to change the world to a place that is best for all life

 

I commit myself to give up the desire and hope for a perfect life and see and realize through his that such a design was never real as I must be the one who creates a life that is best for self through the directive principle of oneness and equality as what is best for all life

 

I commit myself to stop abusing, deceiving, hurting, trapping, abandoning and being dishonest with myself through allowing myself to exist within hope as the desire to have my desires fulfilled that only feed an illusion of the mind that disregard who I really am as life as the physical

 

I commit myself to see and realize that the physical as GOD as who I really am as life exist through mathematical equations and thus to realize who I am as life is to stop all hope as illusions/desires of the perfect life and birth myself as life through physical actions that are mathematically certain to create a life that is best for all

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