Day 51: “I worked hard for my money”

ImageI forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am self-righteous in having money and deserve this money more than others in a world where billions do not have money or even the opportunity to make money

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that no one who has money is justified in having money where others do not as the main determining factors in who has money and who does not is the circumstances in which one is born into where some are born into money or the opportunity to make money and others are not and thus those who have money have an unfair advantage over others who do not in a system of inequality

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if the principle that – the amount of money that people have is accurately reflective of how hard they work – were actually true, then every person who works in a sweatshop would be a millionaire, while those who do nothing and live off of fortunes that they inherited would be poor – as the world is in reverse and this principle is backwards where those who work the hardest are always paid the least as slaves to the elite of this world

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘MY money’ is actually mine as money as it currently exist is actually a form of debt that was given to me as the opportunism of the circumstances I was born into – and that it is impossible to really own any money when money is debt as most of the world have no money and is in debt

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I have ‘worked hard for my money’ as justification as to why one does not stand up and do everything possible to stop and expose an unjust money system where some have money while most do not have money and do not even have the opportunity – and that such a statement is a way of victimizing self while not even realizing that such a position that one is in to be able to work for money is in fact one of the best and highest positions that one can be within our current world system even though one is still just a slave to money – and that this standard reflects the extent of how bad the situation on earth is where being a slave to the money system through being forced to work for money is actually one of the better positions to be in

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that working is a self expression and joy and that by defining work as ‘hard/difficult/a struggle’ is when one define themselves and their work within the context of the system of enslavement as being forced to work to survive wherein one has limited themselves to such a system by accepting that they are powerless to change it and do everything possible to escape the reality of this system through entertainment and illusions that they call ‘play’ and become trapped in a life of polarities of ‘work and play’ where work is not some difficult thing that is not fun that makes it such a struggle and the only fun becomes the play which is just the escape from the work which is apparently not fun – and that statements such as ‘I worked hard for my money’ is part of a justification to continue this pattern of work and play so that one may justify the play of escape and the belief that justify and reinforce the belief that one is powerless to change the system of enslavement on earth – which is only in fact an unwillingness to do so

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that that which I see as ‘my money’ can only be stolen by virtue of how the world money system operate to take advantage of those who have nothing so that a few may have everything, and that the justification of ‘I worked hard for my money’ as an escape from the system of enslavement to be used in whatever way the ego see fit and further trap all into this system of enslavement, could of instead been used to bring forth a system that gives money to all life equally as within the power of being one of the few who have money is the opportunity to use this money as a voice and a vote for those who have no voice and no vote as they have no money – to change the world to one that is best for all life where those who have money no longer have to live in fear of those who do not have money and no one is ever again forced to work to keep a system of enslavement functioning, but can instead discover the joy of work as a self expression where all life have the opportunity to work equally with compensation that is equal and dignified

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use the statement of ‘I worked hard for my money’ to justify why I can use my money in greedy, self interested ways where I am the only one that matters and is concerned with how my money is spent when millions who work hard or have no opportunity to work are not considered in any way whatsoever even within this train of logic that I accept which obviously prove hypocrisy as self dishonesty

 

I commit myself to stop using money in ways that are greedy and based in self interest within the justification that ‘I worked hard for my money’

 

I commit myself to stop using the statement of ‘I worked hard for my money’ as a justification of why I have money while many do not and within this, justify a worldwide system of abuse and inequality

 

I commit myself to find and support practical solutions to end the inequality of the money system so that all may have money equally and the opportunity to work – such as for instance the Equal Money System

 

I commit myself to stop and expose all self righteousness of those in the world that hold the power as money, access to money and the opportunity to make money

 

I commit myself to no longer limit myself to the money system as defining myself as being a slave to the money system wherein my entire life consists of the polarity experience of working which I have defined as negative and playing which I have defined as positive and stop all escapes from this self accepted existence so that I may find a solution to correct the system of enslavement

 

I commit myself to realize and live the understanding that having the opportunity to work and make money does not entitle me to use money in self interest as if it were MY money, but is rather a privilege and responsibility with which I must use my privilege of being one of the few who have money to change the world money system to one where all may have money equally

 

I commit myself to stop believing in the illusion that I the money I have is MINE when it is in fact debt and stolen from those who have nothing

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Day 50: Temper Tantrum

ImageI forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become angry with others in blaming others/becoming frustrated with others, and within this, throw a temper tantrum with them either in thoughts, words, deeds or even silence.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to throw a temper tantrum when I do not get what I want and desire.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that throwing a temper tantrum is the result of accepting and allowing the energy of desire to build within me through the acceptance and allowance of thoughts in my mind and to allow myself to participate in these thoughts, and if I allow thoughts my desire grows it must then be satisfied and if it does not, I then throw a temper tantrum at those who I believe are responsible for not satisfying my desire as a statement of blame and shifting self responsibility onto another

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in throwing a temper tantrum, the mind will find ways to make the temper tantrum as blame seem justified as it will take flaws that it observes in others and use them as the evidence against others that they are the ones doing wrong and harming me and are to blame for how I feel and experience myself, and that these justifications will seem really real because they may include facts about others – but I am not slowing down to realize that these facts exist within and as me and that I am only observing myself as the point that I see in another, is in fact existing within and as me also and thus the only real way to deal with the point is to stop it within and as myself and thus the anger towards others when I observe the point will cease and I will be enabled to direct the point rather than react to it

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I participate in/act on blame as throwing a temper tantrum, then I will inevitably just experience, shame and regret for allowing the nastiness of my mind to possess me when it did not get what it wants, and which then result in me abusing others

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see the evil and nastiness that is the true nature of desire and that all desire will inevitably reveal itself as its true nature as nastiness/evil/spitefulness and thus I must stop all desire at the source through self honesty and self forgiveness

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that individuals living out their spitefulness towards life as blame and temper tantrums is the cause of manifestations such as war and physical violence in this world and to stop such atrocities, I must stop my own participation in self interested desires that lead to abuse and temper tantrums

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that ALL anger that I experience towards another is in fact anger towards myself for what I have accepted and allowed within myself which I then project onto them as my anger – and that to stop all anger towards others I must stop that which I allow which has me angry towards myself

 

I commit myself to stop throwing temper tantrums when I do not get that which I want and desire

 

I commit myself to stop the urge to become angry, blame and throw temper tantrums by stopping the allowance of self interested desires within myself

 

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when I experience anger towards other, I am angry at myself for what I am accepting and allowing which I project onto them and to investigate myself sufficiently to stop what I am accepting and allowing within myself

 

I commit myself to stop all blame as the belief that another is responsible for how I experience myself as shifting self responsibility onto another and to take back my power as the self responsibility for what I accept and allow through self honesty and self forgiveness

 

I commit myself to stop and do self forgiveness on all justifications for my blame and the apparent right to throw a temper tantrum, no matter how real these justifications seem

 

I commit myself to stand as an example in this world to stop the war and abuse that we have accepted and allowed through stopping all the self interested desires that inevitably lead to anger, spitefulness, blame and temper tantrums

Day 49: The ‘bad student’ character

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted myself to believe myself to be/judge myself as a ‘bad student’ based on past experiences where I did not grade well in school and compared myself to others who had better grades than me

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a bad student based on past experiences of my tendency to reject school and rebel which began as I came into my teenage years and increased onwards

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a bad student due to past experiences where I had difficulty studying and focusing on the work at hand and believed that because of this, there was something ‘wrong with me’, not realizing that my lack of focus was due to the interruption of the mind as thought and being consumed this way by energy as the older I became, the more addicted I became to energy

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to do well in school is to simply follow a program and fulfill a role – and that the effectiveness of the ability to follow the program is dependent on self application and commitment, and through this over time the understanding of the program and how to function effectively within the program is accumulated through experience in participation

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear failing or not doing well in school, not realizing that this fear of failure is based in the fear of not having money, success and survival, and is a fear of self as lacking self trust as not being honest with myself that I have applied myself and committed myself fully to able to be successful and thus fear the future as failure

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use resentment, judgment and blame towards the school system as stupid or pointless as a way of separating myself from the system and justifying why I am righteous which only serve to cover up my accepted and allowed inferiority to it as the belief that I am a failure in its eyes and am not capable of being successful within it and therefore, I rebel and separate myself from it

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my success in the schooling system requires consistent daily application and to ensure that no work is postponed and no procrastination is allowed as everything is dependent on time and deadlines, and that consistent application is practice that improves my effectiveness when I am applying myself and thus the more I apply myself and the more consistently I apply myself, the easier it will become to apply myself

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there will be challenges in my school experience and there will be things I do not understand, and thus I will be required to push through my resistance as my desire to give up when I face something I do not understand through the belief of ‘I can’t do this’

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become competitive within the process of schooling and compare myself to others and make judgments of others and myself as inferior/superior – all within the pursuit of getting good grades and fearing not getting good grades because if in case I do not get good grades, I will find ways of judging others as robots/tools/ass-kissers for ‘buying into’ the system when in fact it is me who has bought into the system by allowing myself to become competitive and fear not getting good grades

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge other students who may not have grasped the context of the education system as a way of making myself feel/appear superior to them

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as a rebel and within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame and judge the schooling system as being a money making scam to control peoples minds – not as pointing out a matter of fact to support others in education and understanding, but as a matter of compensating for my own accepted and allowed inferiority and fear of not succeeding in school

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that school is simply another task in life that must be completed and as such does not require any kind of energetic relationship/feeling to it as having a positive or negative experience of it, based on whether I ‘do well’ as getting higher grades or ‘do not do well’ as getting lower grades

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that applying myself in the daily work of my schooling is in fact self support as it is physical work that supports me in getting out of the mind and being here in the physical which is the only place that real work and progress is possible and through accumulating this over time, I disengage my addiction to my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions by no longer participating in energetic experiences as feeding my mind this energy it depends on

 

I commit myself to stop all judgments/definitions/beliefs I have created about myself and school as positive/negative/inferior/superior

 

I commit myself to stop my fear of failing in school and my desire to do well on school that is based on this fear by simply committing and applying myself in the work that must be done to ensure that I have done everything that is required and everything that I must do to be successful so that no fear of failure as fear of the future exist – and within this, establish the self trust and self honesty in understanding that what I put in is what I will get out

 

I commit myself to simply apply myself in school diligently within the recognition that this is a task that must be done, no matter how repetitive of tedious it may be, and play the role of a student and all that this entails in order to be successful, for a time until it is done

 

I commit myself to stop all judgments of myself I have made from past experiences through the practical application of working consistently on my studies so that I may over time accumulate a new me who is effective as a student which is a living act of self forgiveness of stopping all the judgments as they arise as thoughts, and moving through them as I remain here as breath in the physical in applying myself in school

 

I commit myself to stop my fear of survival/not having money as the underlying fear that have me fear failing in school, to not let these underlying fears influence who I am and how effective I am in my schooling experience

 

I commit myself to walk through all resistances and face myself in applying myself in all challenges that I may face during my schooling experience so that I may understand what is necessary to be done and be effective on completing the task at hand

 

I commit myself to stop all competitive ambition as the fear of failure as a starting point and all of the comparison and jealousy that follows it – and simply accept/recognize myself as capable as a physically lived statement of applying myself diligently in whatever is necessary to be done in my schooling experience

Day 48: Masturbation

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create masturbation as a way of feeding the mind energy wherein I access pictures and ideas when I masturbate to stimulate me into orgasm wherein I experience an absolute ‘high’ and energy rush in the mind – only to then come down again experiencing shame and guilt, that my masturbation was based in fear and desire to have a certain energetic experience of myself of the mind, and not a self expression

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap as a pattern of masturbating to pictures and memories that make me ‘feel good’ about myself in some kind of superior way where I am getting what I desire or feeling what I desire to as a sense of superiority and grandeur, which is reflected in the images that flash in my head and the thoughts that come up which are always based in wanting an experience of power and control over life, not realizing that this is reflective of the mind as the minds desire to have power and control over me to be able to get energy from the physical body in order to sustain its existence

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I masturbate to pictures, I am literally losing myself in an illusion that is not real and that every time I do this, I diminish as the mind feeds off the body through the energetic experience of masturbation and climax, and that that is why over time the mind becomes addicted to masturbation and wants and desires it more and more and has to go into deeper levels of fantasy and illusion and try to ever increase the level of intensity as the energy generated and the minds appetite grows and the body continues to diminish and within this awareness, the appetite of the mind grows until the body can handle no more and die

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I enjoy masturbation when it is only the mind being addicted to energy and the enslavement of the physical body into patterns/habits

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that masturbation as it has been created in my life as a system is based on fear, wherein I fear to face myself and live myself here within and as the physical body and instead go into the realm of thoughts as the illusion of my mind, where I can be god and have power and have some great magnificent experience of myself that I have defined as great through pictures and images that stimulate me to give me this experience of power and control as enjoyment, and that by participating in such an action I actually fear to stop my illusion to see who I have become and what my desires are really based in and instead choose to escape myself which is never a sustainable way to live

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that masturbation starts off as an evolves further into an obsessive/possessive personality state as the mind becomes addicted and dependent on these feelings it generates by stimulating itself in participating in the illusion/fantasy of masturbation as this only serves as a temporary escape from my reality and that the more I escape, the more I desire to escape and the more intense the attempt to escape will become

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that masturbation is based in unhappiness and dissatisfaction of self and only further progresses and evolves down this path of being further unhappy and unsatisfied with self as I set out to masturbate to have a better/higher experience of myself due to my already being unhappy/dissatisfied with myself and my reality, and as I do this I am only escaping my unhappiness/dissatisfaction in my reality and thus it continues unabated and grows as I continue to not face it as myself every time that I choose to masturbate, which then fuel the desire to escape through masturbation even more and that this continues as a vicious cycle unless I stop and see and realize my dissatisfaction and the fact that I do not have to accept such an existence and am able to change it if I apply myself through self -honest self-investigation and self forgiveness as real self change, as this would not only be best for myself but also assist in creating a self that is so satisfied with self that self realize the courage and strength to stand for a world that is also best for all life as equals

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will enjoy myself if I masturbate and that my desires will be satisfied when this is in fact not so as it has been proven to me time and time again through experience that masturbation that is based in desire and pictures only serve to weaken, not strengthen

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that masturbation only fuel and compound the self-interested self-obsessed desire for happiness at all costs that is based in fear and desire and always leads to recklessness and the disregarding of life as the physical and serve to create a self that abuse life in pursuit of self interest

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to GET the kind of enjoyment that my mind project itself to want to have requires to GIVE up all illusions of what enjoyment is as it has been defined by the mind as the mind only defines enjoyment based on criteria that only consider self as the mind and not life, and thus for real enjoyment to exist I must give to all life equally as giving up all self interested versions of enjoyment and love

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to justify giving into my desire to masturbate within the belief that I am powerless to stop myself, not seeing or realizing how I have created the desire to masturbate as who I am as who I accept and allow myself to be in every single moment, and that it is in fact possible to stop creating the desire to masturbate through self honesty and self forgiveness as standing as the self directive principle of what is best for life in every single moment wherein every moment I am continually faced with the opportunity to stop my mind through breath and direct myself in ways that is best for all life which serve to stop the accumulation of energy as desire based in self interest

 

I commit myself to stop creating the desire to escape my reality through masturbation by standing here as the self directive principle in self honesty and self forgiveness in every moment as I live and accumulate the actions that take into consideration what is best for all life, which include giving to life as myself as I would like to receive so that I no longer want and desire to escape myself and my reality

 

I commit myself to give as I would like to receive as giving up all desires/illusions/fantasies/escapes as self interest to live in a way that is best for all life so that I as life may receive the life I would truly want as I have given it to all life equally

 

I commit myself to stop the reckless pursuit of self enjoyment through energy and stimulation of the mind through breath by breath a practical application of stopping desires, fears and beliefs an within this, slowly but surely create through accumulation of self application a life that truly thrive and enjoy

I commit myself to stop all beliefs/perceptions of what self enjoyment apparently is as they have been created in the mind of fears and desires in self interest that disregard life

 

I commit myself to stop and face all unhappiness and self dissatisfaction that I have come to exist as and no longer create and sustain such an existence through the chasing of desires and illusory escapes from what I have become, but instead create a life that is best for all here, breath by breath

 

I commit myself to no longer trap myself into illusions of good feelings through sex and masturbation and instead create a reality that is truly good as what is best for all life by creating this reality without self interest and in consideration of what is best for all life, here in the physical reality where the results/effects of this are not illusory but are in fact able to be cross referenced and measured as they exist in the physical reality

Day 47: Staying up late

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to stay up late simply because I am addicted to energy and want to continue feeding my mind this energy through all sorts of forms of entertainment and stimulation and that I have also found the night time as a good opportunity within which to do this because no one is around to see me or disturb me in my pursuit of energy as stimulation and it is easier to hide and be private and not be challenged or questioned about my pursuit of energy as stimulation

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined staying up late as ‘bad’ as simply being the polarity opposite projection of how I have already accepted and allowed myself to have defined staying up late as good without realizing it as the mind is in control when I am hooked on the pursuit of energy that drives me to stay up late

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to ‘get up early’ and live a ‘normal’ hourly schedule by being awake in the day time as I have used this as the definition of what is good as the polar opposite to staying up late apparently being based which I have only accepted as a societal definition which I would aspire to in moral sentiment but never really live as I have already placed this as superior to me by allowing myself to feel inferior for my staying up late

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the desire to stay up late is created when I accept and allow myself to have an inactive, unproductive day where there is no real self movement and self direction within the self directive principle of what is best for all life, where I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully live myself and make use of the gift of life that I have been given by living to my full potential, and will thus stay up late as an act of waiting and wishing for something more, as if I fear going to sleep as if I fear giving up my life as my consciousness because I exist and fear and inferiority within the awareness that I did not live a full life

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear staying up late or getting up early and resist going to sleep late or getting up early as fearing the patterns I have accepted and allowed by doing nothing to practically change them – but instead just watched the clock within my fear as time passes by and I do nothing to direct myself and that this is why I have reactions when I look to the clock that is ticking away until my death

 

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment and live my life to my full potential as living a life that is best for all, so that I no longer am left staying up late, wanting and hoping and waiting for something better to come

 

I commit myself to stop feeding the mind with energy to the point where my mind as consciousness refuses to go to sleep because it does not want to give up this energetic experience and fear losing it

 

I commit myself to give up all definitions associated with sleep and being awake with regards to time as apparently sleeping or being awake at certain times is good and certain other times is bad

 

I commit myself to recognize and stop the desire of the ego to remain addicted to energy as the resistance to going to sleep and all justifications/excuses it may use to deceive me from not directing myself in sleeping and maintaining a sleep schedule that is based in self honesty and self directive principle as what is best for all life

 

I commit myself to no longer be a slave to time and patterns by making the most of ALL time unconditional of the clock by using all time to live a fulfilled like that is best for all

Day 46: Fantasy

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to escape reality through fantasy and alternate realities within the awareness of the mess that my reality has become and the belief that I cannot change my reality or that no solution is possible, and thus have allowed myself to believe that I will be able to find something better ‘out there somewhere’ in the illusory reality of my mind, not realizing that such a belief is that I will find enjoyment in delusion/illusion

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every moment spent lost in a fantasy world is a moment lost where the suffering of life continues and worsens and could have been spent in actions that consider life to make the world a place that is best for all life

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that life could actually be ‘better’ in a fantasy reality that is not even real, not seeing or realizing that through the application of simplistic tools such as self honesty and self forgiveness, I am able to create a reality that is best for all life and find within myself the peace and silence that I was birthed from in the image and likeness of the earth, and that the physical reality is the only place that real enjoyment is even possible as the physical is that which is real as life, but will involve and require my direct participation as the giver of life to the physical reality so that I may give as I would like to receive

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within the fantasy realities of books, games, sports, television, movies, social drama, and all other fantasy realities that are not based in LIFE as reality as that which is best for all

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become infatuated with the characters and relationship dynamics of fantasy realities, as these characters and relationships only tell the story of inequality in a glorified way where there is always a winner and a loser and that I have not allowed myself to realize that my fascination with such characters is only based within my desire to abuse life and live inequality through the desire to be the ‘winning character’ and relate and design and shape my own mind like that of the winning character and that if such a desire did not exist, then these fantasy stories would have no appeal to me whatsoever and even be seen as the horror stories that they truly are

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to only want to see the love and light fantasy stories and not the horror stories that are actual mirror reflections of what has been done to this physical reality and that both of these stories are two sides of the same coin as only illusory fantasy realities that are not real and have no basis of what is real as life

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to design my own life as a fantasy reality where I am the hero/winner against some form of evil where I always win and live a life of success and happiness that is ‘profoundly out of this world’ in its illusory virtue of magnificence, not realizing that it is literally impossible to make this reality real as attempting to make the fantasy come true requires me to accept the existence of evil in my world to make me great and special and that this is truly an ‘out of this world’ fantasy because the allowance of good as just polar opposite of evil to exist is absolute delusion/illusion that is used and attempted to be made real in a physical reality that simply does not function this way, yet the mind would in its reckless pursuit of desire destroy all in it’s path in an attempt to make this fantasy reality real

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the desire to live in a fantasy world is in fact based in fear as fear of self and fear of facing the reality that self has accepted and allowed to exist in the image and likeness of what self has become as not life

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my desire to create a fantasy reality influence what I am creating in the physical reality where I am the central character that must always win against all odds and enemies, within the belief that this is some kind of Hollywood story that is reinforced by the rush of energy I get from fulfilling my fantasies as the feeling that I am ‘winning’ which is never real because I am life and life cannot win because life can never compete against itself, and all lives end up in the same place at the end of all stories – death

 

I commit myself to stop losing myself within the reality of my mind as engaging within fantasy realities as escapes from my reality, such as books, video games, movies, tv, internet, social drama, and my own mind where I am able to create whatever fantasy reality I so choose to delude myself from not living here as life

 

I commit myself to make my actual real physical reality into a place that is best for all life so that I may enjoy myself as life without desires to escape life into fantasy realities, and in this way, stand within the self responsibility as creator of life to give life to my creation so that I may give as I would like to receive as this is the only way to create a reality that is best for self and all life that is not merely a fantasy

 

I commit myself to see and expose how I as society have been brainwashed and influenced to want and desire to create fantasy realities through media and Hollywood stories, reinforcing the belief that we are powerless to change reality and can not create a life that is great and thus must limit ourselves to enjoyment in a fantasy reality that is not even real and thus not real enjoyment

I commit myself to see and realize that any enjoyment that is not based in the physical reality and equality is not real and only a mind fuck designed to trap me into systems of control

 

I commit myself to see and realize that every fantasy story is a form of control to separate life into parts and create weaknesses of fear and desire by telling the same old systematic story of hero vs. villain where the hero always wins the girl and the money and saves the day and rides off into the sunset to live happily every after – and that such a fantasy was created to trap life into the enslavement of HOPE for something better in the afterlife as something apparently better than life after life has been overlooked

 

I commit myself to stop all fantasies as projections of what I would like to see in life and my reality and to face the horror story that life has become to find real practical solutions that can be applied breath by breath to create a world that is best for all where no alternate fantasy realities are required to exist as LIFE exist, free and equal

Day 45: Suppression

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself by existing /creating myself as a mind consciousness system that consist of knowledge and information such as beliefs, self beliefs, definitions, self definitions, perceptions, judgments, justifications, blames etc – within which I have created the mirror projection of myself as personality through I exist and apparently live yet this is only a system living and expressing itself and this system was preprogrammed with knowledge and information so that I am always a slave to my own limitation of the mind of knowledge and information, never able to express myself here directly as life essence

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to – upon seeing that I am existing as a mind consciousness system that suppress the life essence that give power to the mind – not investigated and faced who I have become as the mind and how I have become this mind as how it has been constructed in a way that seemingly makes logical sense as a survival tool, and instead of investigating and becoming intimate with myself in deconstructing my mind, simply created new forms of personality/mind as a self change/self processed/ascended character wherein I profess, look and act as if I have understood and changed the essence of who I am through self investigation and self forgiveness, by simply attempting to change what I do and how I act, not realizing that this is not in fact change but rather further suppressing me in suppressing my suppression, creating within this new levels of mind consciousness system as new levels of superiority and self delusion like an ASS-ended master

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to change what I do, and not change who I am through self honest investigation and self forgiveness as self realization, as a form of suppressing myself and resisting real change, and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I resist will persist as have been proven to me time and time again in real life

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the desire for immediate change is in fact a desire of the mind, wanting a quick fix solution wherein it is able to believe that it has changed and appease its own conscience, so that it does not in fact engage in a real-time process of self honest investigation and self forgiveness as a lengthy process of study and self correction through self honest realization

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the desire to change, and the act of changing what I do and not who I am, is self suppression and resistance and not real change as self realization as who I am

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that changing what I do without understanding is self suppression, and that real self change comes as a natural expression of who I am through self honest realization and understanding that lead to real self forgiveness

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes and that making mistakes is inevitable at this stage as my entire life design/pre-programming is meant to have me make mistakes and that stopping this will in fact take time and consistent self honest work and application, and that through making mistakes I give myself to opportunity to learn as mistakes are a great teacher, whereas the suppression of making mistakes as changing only what I do as creating new characters is in fact keeping me from seeing the mistakes I am making which give me the opportunity for real investigation, realization and practical correction as I am only deluding myself with the self belief that I am changed and better and ascended and thus do not require to change who I am

 

I commit myself to stop suppressing myself through a lengthy process of self honest self investigation and self reflection with applied self forgiveness, to facilitate the self realization that I am not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that I have come to create through and as a mind consciousness system, and live this self change as a REALization in common sense understanding and recognition of who I have become as the mind and who I really am as the physical

 

I commit myself to stop creating alternate personality characters wherein I am able to change only what I do as my actions and not actually who I am through insight and understanding, and to no longer suppress myself as the mind and as life essence in this way

 

I commit myself to stop all character creations within the belief that I can simply change in an instant or that I have already changed through the egos desire to believe that I am changed/self realized and can thus just make a quick change in what I do which is in fact just the CHOICE of ego

 

I commit myself to stop all forms of quick fix solutions as ideas/perceptions/beliefs about what change apparently is as a doing, and instead commit myself to changing my being through practical actions of writing and self forgiveness which will not appeal to or excite the ego and will be resisted by the ego

 

I commit myself to see and realize the simplicity that what my ego resist, will persist

 

I commit myself to become intimate with myself through self honest self investigation to see, understand, recognize, and reflect myself to understand and realize what I have become and what I have accepted and allowed, and thus who I am to be as life as only within such realization will I be able to see and understand the obviousness/common sense of the solution as what is required to be done