Day 17: The Sacred Symbolism of Self Enslavement

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to believe that I enjoy the experience of seeing others within a position of absolute enslavement that is specific to my own design of self enslavement and the enslavement of others, wherein the enslavement may not be ‘obvious’ as per the definition of enslavement that exist within and as the mind as literal images of shackled people and other instance of enslavement that is imprinted through movies/books/magazines/other media to only define enslavement within and as a handful of forms – and instead see how the experience of seeing others enslaved within and as certain specific ways may be subtle and not obvious to the conscious mind as they are symbolically reflecting my own self enslavement, which I then do not see and willfully participate in as the belief that I am enjoying such experiences of others being enslaved and enjoy within the belief of the mind that I am gaining something as power/control over another when in fact it is my own mind relishing in its own enslavement of self as who I really am as life as a living, breathing physical being and that within the essence of how this works it is always the mind that is enjoying this experience of seeing/witnessing/observing enslavement over the physical whether it is in the instance of or reflective of my own enslavement or the enslavement of another – they are both one and the same


I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to base the attractiveness, value and worth of other beings within my existence on certain characteristics/behaviors/attributes that symbolize/are representative of that which will appeal to me as an indication of another’s potential as a candidate to be enslaved by my mind – preferably as easily and willingly as possible – so that I may experience what I believe I enjoy as gaining power/energy over/from another – not realizing that in fact this  enjoyment is not me as who I am as life as a physical, living, breathing being as the flesh, but rather as a parasitic energetic entity known as the mind/consciousness which requires the enslavement/submission/conformity of the physical to be able to generate energy for its continued and sustained existence as an illusionary reality


I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to create fantasies, dreams and hopes of a ‘perfect relationship’ with another/others in my world within the context of my own minds fulfillment as energy, and to project this fantasy/hope/dream onto others who I have assessed as potential candidates for this excursion – whether these others I observe in my physical world or am simply looking for my minds projection within and as the physical world – and within this, endlessly and constantly search to find this ‘perfect candidate(s)’ and attempt to create and fulfill this fantasy/dream/hope/illusion through the people, places, things and experiences which I have assessed are most likely to/have the most potential to fulfill these mind fantasies and feed my mind energy, wherein I have profiled and defined everything in my world simply within this context of feeding the mind energy to sustain it


I commit myself to stop feeding my desire of the perfect/ultimate energy fulfillment experience/fantasy through continuously seeking potential candidates that I am able to enslave and control within the context of fulfilling these dreams/fantasies/hopes by creating and entire world that is based within this one principle/desire, wherein all that I have deemed as having value and worth is only within the context of this fantasy/dream/hope that completely disregard all life and do not consider what is real – including even myself as a physical, living, breathing being – but instead only exist to fulfill and sustain an energetic entity/as the mind/consciousness so that it may continue its delusion, self fulfilling, spiteful existence as the expense, deterioration and diminishment of the physical that does not serve life as the physical as what is real in any way whatsoever


I commit myself to stop seeking out that in my world which I deem has the most potential to bring me a certain specific energetic experience of myself as the mind that is in fact based in inferiority and self abandonment so that I may continue to spite myself as the original sin of self spite of self abandonment/inferiority, covered up by the fantasy/dream/escape of a ‘higher’ experience of myself where I believe I am not this self definition that I have already created of myself as inferiority/self abandonment where I have not valued/honored myself as life as who I am as a physical, living, breathing being


I commit myself to stop projecting and enslaving myself to my already created and defined idea/pictures/definitions of the ‘perfect’ fantasy/dream/escape/reality that exist and have been reinforced and imprinted within and as my mind through experiences that I have come to believe I enjoy and define as part of who I am, and using such projected images/ideas/fantasies/illusiory realities in my mind to further enslave myself by believing that I want and desire and enjoy experiencing these experiences of projecting and feeding and living within such fantasies/dreams/illusory realities as such ideas of the mind that I have come to define and ingrain in my mind as good and enjoyable and fun through experience and repetition


I commit myself to be patient and gentle with myself and stop self judgment within and as this process of self change/self realization, within the understanding and consideration that I have existed this way for quite some time and have engrained the mind within and as me this way extensively, and thus it is common sense that it will take time for me to see/realize/understand/stop and change who I am in the process of self correction and that the tendency to give up is simply my mind using the extent of desire/ingrained experiences to experience an experience of ‘overwhelmingness’ and fear to justify and reason why I should give up on myself and simply continue destroying myself and feeding the mind energy as the ultimate statement of self abandonment and self spite