Day 15: Self direction in every moment

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to dedicate and commit myself fully to a process of self correction through self honesty and self forgiveness that exist here within and as every moment of every breath as the entirety of me

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed moments to pass wherein I am not undertaking the task of stopping the old habits/patterns that I exist as as the mind, using various justifications, reasons and excuses as to why I can afford to overlook that which I exist as and participate within it while completely disregarding the current state of damnation that my world as myself is existent within

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that for every moment that passes that I am not directing myself, there will be a consequence and for every moment that I am not here within and as breath directing myself, there will be an accumulation of consequences that manifest as an even greater fuck up that affect not only me but others as well

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that when I allow myself to submit to the control/influence/desires of others, that although it may appear that I am appeasing them/satisfying them/making them happy, I am in fact doing them a disservice as life and deceiving them through participating within and reinforcing their own self deception of wanting and desiring power and control where they have not allowed themselves to stand and realize themselves as life in self honesty

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to use the excuse of the idea of this process/application being ‘too big’ or ‘too difficult’ or ‘too impossible’ to sabotage myself from not applying myself here in every moment of every breath and that through this fear of doing what is necessary to be done is only a self deceptive mirror reflection of the actual consequences of what will happen if I do not apply myself in my process

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to ignore the inevitability that, If I allow myself to not direct myself and be directed/influenced by the will/desires/wants of others based within their own self-dishonesties, that I am going to become angry at myself and become a nasty human being who rages and throws violent tantrums because I was dishonest with myself that I did not stand and insist that I live and breathe here as myself within and as self direction as what is best for all life

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to see that what is best for all is best for self and that to apply myself in creating a world that is best for all life in every moment is creating a world that is best for myself in every moment

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that I am unable to direct myself in every moment within breath, here as myself as the physical body, if I am allowing myself to participate within and as thoughts, feelings and emotions and that I am unable to direct myself from the starting point of energy as a thought/feeling/emotion or as knowledge, as I am not a thought, I am not a feeling, I am not an emotion, I am not knowledge – but rather these are the aspects of myself that I have created through my own self dishonesty in defining/limiting/reducing/diminishing myself to an idea or ideas of the mind

 

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment of every breath through and as a process of self correction through self forgiveness and self honesty, lived and applied through self writing, and see and realize the effects of this and what the consequences of not doing this are only causing harm to myself and others as I am submitting myself to a system that direct, control and influence me to exist in a way that is not best for all life, known as so-called ‘self interest’

I communicate myself to apply myself in every moment of my process consistently to see the effect that this will have in my life and the life of others until I have shown and proven to myself that this is in fact what is best for all life beyond the shadow of a doubt

I commit myself to stop submitting myself to the desires/wants/control of others as energy to in fact assist and support myself to see clearly and become the self directive principle of myself as life, and in turn assist and support others to direct, assist and support themselves in self honesty as the opportunity within not participating within the wants/desires/control of others is the opportunity to show and reflect to them who they are as the mind and what is possible as who they are as life

I commit myself to stop using others by influencing/controlling them to feed and fulfill my desires and my own self dishonesties which will then allow me to free myself and be able to direct myself within the experience of others attempting to control and influence me through their own desires

I commit myself to do what is best for self as all as one as equal

I commit myself to stop existing/living/acting/making decisions from the starting point of me as mind as energy as my thoughts/feelings and emotions and remain clear that I am existing/acting/living/making decisions as myself here as breath, within and as the physical, one and equal, to see and show myself that it is possible to live and exist without the mind and to see who I am when I am not dependent on my mind as my desires as my thoughts/feelings and emotions to exist and live

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