Day 13: “I Will Always be there for you”

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to speak and live the words “I will always be there for you” as a statement of self enslavement to a system of dependency that I have created where I have allowed myself to become dependant on energy as attention, feelings and emotions of others through associating these things with survival in believing that these things are required to be able to survive and exist

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to appease and feed the desires of others who are addicted to energy by speaking/living the words ‘I will always be there for you’ within the belief that I am apparently helping them or making them happy or loving them – when in fact I am doing this so that I am feeding my own addiction to energy, creating the perfect system of self enslavement for both of us where we are committed to feeding each others addiction to energy

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to enslave myself by dedicating myself to ‘always be there’ for another or others as a deceptive and manipulative statement to appease them and their desires to experience energy and fears of losing energy – because I myself would like them to ‘always be there for me’ as enslaving them to always serve my mind/ego in dedicating themselves to feed my own desires as energy addiction

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to reinforce the self- belief of others that they are not complete, are flawed, inferior, not sufficient, not capable and thus require me to help and save them as a savior as I myself have lived this self belief of myself and also believed that I believe and require a savior

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to believe that when I do not get what I expect and desire as a dependency I’ve created on others for energy – that I am apparently being ‘not cared for’ and ‘not supported’ and being ‘hurt’ as my ego/mind throws a temper tantrum when I do not get what I want and desire

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to believe that when I do not feed the expectations of others by feeding them energy through finding ways of generating energy within them – that I believe I am ‘hurting’ them or ‘not supporting them when in fact feeding the energy addictions of others is abuse in supporting their own self created enslavement as the addiction to energy as thoughts, emotions and feelings

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that my fear of others becoming angry at me for me not feeding their energy addictions or reacting the way they would like me to – is in fact based in my own desire to have people feed my energy addiction and react the way I would like them to because if they do not I will become angry at them and use anger and intimidation as a way of getting them to fall back in line with what I desire

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to seek to generate energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions in others as a way of manipulating them to get what I desire as power and control over them

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to fear not experiencing this ‘love’ and ‘care’ and ‘help’ from others as I have defined it as getting the attention of others to be able to generate energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions within myself

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to believe that I require energy and relationships that feed my energy addiction to be able to exist and enjoy myself

 

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to realize that within the statement ‘I will always be there for you’ I am in fact stating that I will never be HERE as life as long as I am committed to being THERE for another or the idea of another that I have created

 

I commit myself to discover real self love and enjoyment through stopping my addiction to energy and seeking out others to create relationships and interactions that generate energy within me as thoughts, feelings and emotions

I commit myself to discipline myself to do what it takes – whatever is necessary – to stop my addiction to energy and support myself in establishing myself as life as breath here in the physical

I commit myself to stop enslaving myself to energy addiction through relationships that are based on energy addiction wherein we both live the statement ‘I will always be there for you’ as the commitment to feeding each others addiction to energy

I commit myself to stop using words and statements that trigger thoughts, feelings and emotions in others as a way of manipulating and controlling them to get the energy that I desire

I commit myself to stop being angry when another does not feed my energy addiction and understand that this is a gift and thus the best gift that I am also able to give to another

I commit myself to understand and live the understanding that energy is not life, is not love, is not enjoyment, and to see that real life, love and enjoyment can only begin when I stop feeding my addiction to energy and the addiction to energy of others

 

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